day of decision? how about day of dumb.

yesterday was the big day.
the day that the california supreme court decided what to do about prop 8.

not only were they to decide whether or not to uphold the november 4, 2008 passing of this ridiculous-to-begin-with proposition, but they were also to announce what was to happen with the 18,000 same-sex couples who had been married between may 2008 [when the high courts deemed marriage legal] and november 2008 [when we took their rights away]. the fact that they even had to debate on what was to happen to these couples was shocking to me. really? there's a CHANCE [however slim] that you could actually take these rights away from people after YOU were the ones that gave them to them in the first place? and forget who gave who any rights - just the fact that someone, anyone, would even consider reVOKING them?? that's like saying "hey jess, i know we said you could own that property. but...we've changed our mind. the general public has spoken and, frankly, doesn't want you to have that land anymore, so..well, sorry..if you don't mind we'll just take that riiiiight back, yep, there we go.. greeeat, thanks. peace!"

anyhow, i don't need to go on TOO much of a rant there, because the court did vote unanimously to keep these marriages legal.
good.

unfortunately, however, the court did decide 6-1 in favor of upholding the prop 8 decision (<--- great latimes article that may explain things a bit clearer than i) made in november. the decision was made based on the fact that the prop was put on the ballot in november as a "limited amendment" to the constitution and not a "wholesale revision," which would have required 2/3 vote from the legislature before being placed in the public's hands.

what is scary is that the court defines "an illegal revision as a measure that changes the structure of government, not one that takes away individual rights." soooo...does that mean that if i wanted to take away a gay person's right to go to the beach..or a latino person's right to drive...or a female's right to hold any job she is qualified to hold...i could? i've just gotta get it on the ballot and make sure people vote? because, like you said, taking away any of those rights wouldn't affect the structure of california's government. therefore, those would not be improper revisions.
hmmm....
dangerous words, court. dangerous words.

"For the court to see only structural changes as those requiring a greater majority is perhaps the worst feature of the opinion today," said Pepperdine University law professor Douglas W. Kmiec, who voted for Proposition 8 on religious grounds. "It makes it much too casual for individual rights to be withdrawn." (latimes)

in my experience out here in california so far, one thing has become clear: you cannot let the public vote on social progress. you just can't. people are too set in their ways, too scared, to let social change happen by their own punch of the ballot card.
what do you think would have happened if, back in 1954, the matter of desegregating schools had been put to a public vote?
i mean really.
what do you really think would have happened?

vaca. now?

i need a vacation.

you know you need a vacation when your job consists of sitting at a desk listening to music, and you need a break from that. i have probably the best job ever. but i literally can't listen to anymore music. everything sounds the same. norah jones? persian rap? same shit.
i need a week in the woods.

maybe it's just because i had a really great long weekend and i'm still stuck in relaxation mode.
or maybe it's because it's wednesday and wednesdays just kind of suck.
or maybe it's because i have my period.
or maybe it's because i'm beyond exhausted.
or maybe it's because my ear hurts.
who knows.
what i do know, is that i've peed at least a dozen times today. i can't stop. ok, maybe not a dozen. prolly more like eight. eight times. nah, nine. i'm trying to drink more water, but when i do this, i am rendered incapable of performing any activity without taking a bathroom break at least every 30-45 minutes. ugh. there better not be any traffic on the way home.

ha.
who am i kidding.

epic fail.

i ate.
after 22 hours.
i couldn't do it.
i didn't WANT to do it anymore.
i realized that what i was doing wasn't worth what i was trying to achieve. i have decided that what i really want is a cleaner, healthier body, and that i can achieve just that by eating healthy and being more active, which is what i plan to do. so if nothing else..this silly 22-hour liquid nast diet cleared all that fuzz from my brain.
fuck fasting. UGH.

i was fine until i got home from work and sat down to watch the bachelorette, during which, every 2 out of 3 commercials were for the olive garden. at this point i had already downed [and threw up] way too much salt water in an attempt to flush out my system. having to stand in the bathroom and drink even more of this shit was so disgusting and ridiculous that even though i was able to keep the 2nd batch down, i was in no way excited about it. at the very least i thought i'd get a good flush and be able to make it through the night. but nothing happened! i sat there all night and nothing happened. i just felt GROSS. i called matt to complain about how i was feeling and he told me to eat.

so i went to the grocery store and bought a bag of granola, strawberries, bananas and almond milk, brought it over to hermitage and had the best bowl of cereal of my life.

take that, stanley burroughs.


the master cleanse, jessica style. much better.

eat me

recipe for delicious veggie lasagna with tomato sauce and chard [or spinach!]:

i've made this a few times and every time i eat it all way too quickly. it is SO tasty. i've always made it with chard, as in the original recipe [thanks, nytimes] but on saturday i used spinach instead because i had SO MUCH in my garden and this was the best way to use it up. they are both DELISH [swiss chard is probably a bit cheaper]
anyhow. with that said...

-1 generous bunch of swiss chard [or spinach] - whichever you choose to use, make sure you have about 1.5 lbs of it. this shit cooks down like no other.

-salt

-1/2 lb lasagna noodles [regular or no-boil]

-2 T plus 1 t extra virgin olive oil

-2 large garlic cloves, minced or pressed

-2 pounds fresh tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and diced, OR one 28 oz. can of chopped tomatoes with the juice [this saves some time and money and is just as tasty]

-pinch of sugar!

-1 large basil spring [fresh is best, though when i'm in a pinch, i've sprinkled a bit of dried basil flakes]

-freshly ground pepper

-1/2 c. fresh ricotta cheese [kristina, you can find a substitute, i'm sure :)]

-1/2 c. freshly grated parmesan [or more, if you're like me]

1. Bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil while you prepare the greens. Tear the leaves from the stems and wash thoroughly. Discard the stems [or do with them what you will]. Prepare a big bowl of ice water.

2. When the water comes to a boil, add the greens. Boil 1-2 minutes [from the time the water comes BACK to a boil] until tender, but still bright green. Remove from the water with a slotted spoon and transfer to your ice water. Drain and squeeze out excess water. Chop coarsely and set aside. Now boil your lasagna noodles in the same water [unless using no-boil!], adding a bit more water if necessary. Remove the pasta from the pot and toss with 1 t of olive oil in a bowl.

3. While noodles are boiling, heat 1 T of olive oil over medium heat in a wide, nonstick frying pan. Add the garlic. Cook, stirring until it smells tasty - about a minute. Add the tomatoes, sugar, basil, and salt [begin with 1/2 t and adjust for taste later - i can tell you now you will probably need a bit more than this]. Bring this mixture to a simmer. Let it simmer, stirring often, until it has thickened, 15-20 minutes, depending on the amount of juice in the pan. Taste and adjust seasonings. Remove the basil sprig. Stir in the greens and remove from the heat.

4. Preheat the oven to 375. Oil your baking dish and line the bottom with a layer of noodles. Spread half the ricotta over the noodles followed by half the tomato/green sauce. Sprinkle on some parmesan. Add another layer of noodles and top with the remaining ricotta and the remainder of the sauce. More parm. Finish up with your last layer of noodles and MORE PARMESAN! drizzle the remaining olive oil [about a T] over the top. Cover the dish tightly with foil. Bake 30 minutes, or until bubbling and the pasta is tender.

5. Take out, let cool [for a hot sec], and EAT. MMMMMMMMMMMM.


what i wish mine looked like.

mr. clean

i am master cleansing.
yes, i am drinking the lemonade.
the lemonade that crazy people drink.
with syrup and cayenne pepper.
perhaps i am crazy.

this cleanse is recommended for 10 days.
there is no way in hell this girl can last that long without food [how can that even be good for you?], so my goal is to get through friday. that would be 5 days. we will see.
really, i just want to beat william [who tried it last year and made it 13 hours].

anyhow - i consider myself to be a faaaairly healthy person..i try to eat my fruits and veggies, and i don't pig out on fast food ALL the time...but for every salad and grapefruit that i eat, i make sure to supplement it with a burger from Habit or animal fries from in 'n out. i can't help it. and i don't want these delicacies to disappear from my diet forever! i just need to feel what it's like to not eat them for awhile..to not WANT them for a while..and i'm hoping that this cleanse will give me a fresh start. my idea is that after i clean out my body, i'm going to want to keep filling it with goodness, and to stay away from the burgers and the beers and the fries [at least more than i do now]. don't get me wrong, i LOVE my food. LOVE. LOVE. food. and i don't plan on sacrificing all of my favorite foods. there's something real special about diving into a big juicy burger from habit, with grilled onions and pickles... i just want to learn to eat them in moderation. and i want to start exercising. basically i just want to give my insides a fresh start. i'm at a really great place mentally right now and i want to feel the same way about my internal physicality.
so for all of my vital organs - this is for you. [i hope.]

[iunderstandthiscleanseismostlikelyaloadofhippiebullshit]

update 3pm: text conversation between matt and i

m: wanna get habit tonight?
m: oh wait....nevermind
j: ..i hate you.
j: evil, evil boyfriend.
m: luv you
m: :)
j: yeahhhhh yeah. whatever. jerk.
j: you'd better watch it. i've got shit to do today and can spend allllll day plotting my revenge.

...and i will.

happy birthday, matt! [blowguns are illegal in california]

my boyfriend's birthday was on sunday.
this was also mother's day.
mom got flowers.
matt got speaker stands and a blowgun.



after sleeping in [matt got the day off!] we did presents, watered the garden, and lazed about. dt and erica made us tasty tasty breakfast sandwiches and we sat outside on the back patio and devoured them. the boys went inside and played with the blowgun while e and i hung out back until the gun made its way outside. we had our fun and then realized that it was already 3 and we had to get to the beach. matt and i went to el matador up in malibu. once we got to the water it was mighty chilly, so we laid around doing crosswords and then took a walk through the caves and down past the fancy shmance malibu beach homes.

we stopped at trader joe's on the way home to do our shopping for the week. it's so cheap. and so good. we got home, showered, grabbed tim and katya, and went to indian for din din.

heart of india cafe is the best place around. their mint chicken tikka is divine, and it's the only place i can find one of my favorite beers - yeti. mmmm. the only concern i have with the place is that it is NEVER busy. if there are 2 other parties when we're there, that's a good night. i'm worried it will go out of business. that scares me. what will we do without sunny and sehti??
so we eat there. all the time. i mean, if we don't go, they could go under! [or so we tell ourselves..this is how we justify going there wayyyy too often] dinner was good except that they started putting CHERRY PASTE STUFF in their kabuli naan! wtf, heart of india?? that shit was NASTY. it tasted like naan filled with medicine. i thought our server fucked up [he's new. andd...weird.] but when i asked sunny, he said they just started doing that. ew. next time. kabuli naan sans cherry shit.

i saabed us home and we had surprise birthday cake. tim picked up a delicious chocolate raspberry cake earlier in the evening. i had plans to bake a cake, but then matt got the day off. YAY! after cake everyone went outside and blowgunned for a bit. i hit the beer can. then all of the food i had eaten finally hit my stomach and i went into sleep mode. crossword to fall asleep, and the day was over.

what a lovely, lovely day.


the blowgun is probably one of the cooler things i've ever gotten for anyone.

dt and erica agree.

avett salvation [and other things. but not much.]

what a GREAT WEEKEND!

friday i went over and saw the avett brothers at paramount. they played an acoustic set for about 25 people. paramount served milk and cookies. i felt like i was in my living room. my living room in heaven.
after the show, i spoke to the brothers avett and asked if they remembered chris and faith [garden st. cafe] - they remembered them well, and even remembered the name of The Black Swan, where they played a show in 2005. HOW did they remember that? even I sometimes forget the name of that bar. they talked about how much they enjoyed that show and that they'll never forget it.
...clearly.
after being a grade-A nerd [that's what nerds do, right? get grade A's? ...bad joke, bad joke...reaalll bad joke. ugh i'm sorry.] and posing for a photo and getting my poster signed [what? you got a problem?] i floated back to work. i finished up the day, went home to work on matt's gift, aaaand....i think that's it? i don't remember. i bet i'm going to end up like my mom and not remember what i did 5 minutes ago.

saturday was a gorgeous day. i worked on matt's gift [which were SPEAKER STANDS. I CAN SAY IT NOW BECAUSE HIS BIRTHDAY HAS ALREADY COME] allllll day. dt and erica helped me a boatload. i thought i was going to need their help for a half hour just holding some pieces together for me while i did the assembly. boy was i wrong.

3 hours later we were finally finishing up. rather, dt was finishing up. he was kind and let me drill some of the wood together, but i fucked up. twice. ugh. seriously, everything that could have gone wrong with these things during the process, did. the wood was not cut at the measurements i wanted, the first coat of stain dried weird, a bug dried in the paint on one of the pipes, i didn't have the right size drill bit, the screws i bought were too long and kept breaking, i had tim drill the initial holes in the wrong spot, the sand paper i had was too gritty and left scratches, the store didn't have really fine sand paper...i could go on. but that's what makes them so special..right? labor of love. labor of love.



as soon as these were finished, i ran around to get ready to see THE AVETTS with danny. we trained it to hollywood & vine and got in line. we walked in and scooched in front of a group of too-cool-for-school kids sitting on the floor in front of the stage. the opening band [magnolia electric] played...boooooring. i thought i was going to like them, until i realized that their 40 minute set may as well have been one really long song. and really, guys, don't smile. no need. your performance isn't affected at all by any emotion you may see fit to portray. at this point there was just one girl between me and the barrier up front, and i didn't want to look at her curly hair anymore. i asked danny how much money he thought it would take for the tall guy next to her to let me stand in front of him. after standing there for a good 45 seconds, rocking back and forth, mouth twisted in contemplation, i thought maybe i would ask mr. red shirt what the chances were of me standing in front of him. but danny got to it first.
"hey man, i have a huge favor to ask...would you mind if she stood in front of you?"
"ohh not at all! go for it! blah blah blah"
thank yous and hugs ensued.
as did utter disbelief at my location.
first row.
dead center.
are you kidding me?
the 4 friends around us were real great, and we struck up conversation while waiting for the show to commence. they'd seen them 8 times [native north carolinians] so thankfully it was no skin off their back to let me scoot up front.
the show started and i couldn't stop smiling. in the song 'salina' they mention poughkeepsie. it's real quiet, just scott singing a line about ptown, and as soon as he said it, i yelled at the top of my lungs, "YEAH POUGHKEEPSIE!!!!!!" like a grade-A [F?] moron. they all looked down at me and laughed. seriously, who the fuck from LA is from poughkeepsie? if they hadn't recognized me before, they definitely knew i was there after that outburst. heaven. the show ended way too soon. i could've listened to them all night long. they were unbelievable. the show was life changing for danny, and i'm glad.

i would have been more than content with my location behind miss curly, but being where i was really made the night special. i was the girl that i always wish i was when i go to shows. and i caught scott's bandana at the end. matt thinks it's gross. i think it's beautiful.

beautiful day

i reckon yesterday was gosh darn close to perfect.

i woke up a wee bit late and laid in bed talking to matt for awhile before i ended up actually leaving the house. i fed the hungry cats and watered the garden [which is doing wonderfully, i might add] and hopped in my hot-ass car.

i listened to my bicycle mix on my way to work, which put me in a superb mood, since the songs in that mix are nothing but 'smile and be happy' songs.

for lunch yesterday i drove over to larchmont. finding a parking spot is always near impossible, but i found one...and it was free... ok, so it was blockbuster's customer parking only..but i was only a second! i ran across the street to my favorite bagel joint, sam's bagels, and ordered a hummus sandwich on a toasted everything bagel. it was perfect. i also realized i still had money on my starbucks card and so after being cornered by a canvassing man on the street and telling him that "i'm sorry, i support amnesty international, but i cannot give you a monthly donation, no way no how" i ordered myself an iced mocha. perfect lunch.

soon after i ate, john came into the office and told me that they were doing birthday cake in the main building at 4. each month peermusic does cake and ice cream for all the birthdays in that particular month. nobody knew it was my birthday [i don't work in that building, and i didn't tell anyone] but they soon found out [when i said to them "hey..it's my birthday, too.."], and everyone sang to me. the cake was so yummy and it was nice to take a little break with everyone.

i came back to my office, stuffed with treats, and finished up a bit of work. a little before 6, i got a call from columbia, inviting me to an avett brothers showcase [today!!!!!]. i got off the phone, freaked out a little bit, and drove home. traffic was an absolute bitch, but i made it.

i went inside for a few minutes, bummed that my birkenstocks hadn't arrived in the mail yet, hopped on my bike, ran to Jon's for some chocolate chips, and went over to hermitage. i met tim's lady friend from the ukraine and worked on matt's birthday present for a bit. then tim told me he was making CHICKEN TACOS. i was bummed because i thought i'd miss them. i was meeting matt and feldmann and foxy at the movies and figured the tacos wouldn't be ready in time [tim is an AMAZING but very slow chef :)]. but tim and katya were hungry! so tim got on it and i had time to eat tacos!!!! I WAS SO EXCITED, THEY'RE MY FAVORITE FOOD. really. they're the reason i eat food.

i biked home after dinner to grab my car and i saw a box lying on my chair in my room. my birkenstocks!!! AHHH!! they feel like a second pair of feet. they're so comfortable. i took a few minutes walking around the house in them and then booked it to the movie theater. i got there 3 minutes before the movie started. STAR TREK. IT WAS SO GOOD. seriously. i didn't get a SINGLE inside joke in that film [all you trekkies out there, you know who you are] and i still thought it was absolutely wonderful. i was so entertained. it's 2 hours and 15 minutes of action. in space.
...can it get any better? go see it. it's dark knight status.

then matt and i came home, made some midnight mac n cheese and called it a night.

boy. what a great day.

omg omg omg

tomorrow i get to see my favorite musical act [after paul mccartney] up close and personal.

the avett brothers are playing an acoustic showcase at paramount and i was just invited.

AHHHHHHHHHHH.
WHERE IS THE AED IN THIS OFFICE. I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK.

i'm going to their show on saturday night at the fonda, and i've seen them a couple times before they were big [once at the black swan in tivoli. that was magical], but tomorrow is going to be GREAT. oh my god.

i gg. i'm about to shit my pants.




i love you i love you i love you.

hot pockets

last night at 11pm it was 81 degrees.

take 2

after staying up until after 3am last night, there was no way i could even think about waking up early to do my abs this morning [who am i kidding..i'm never going to do this shit in the morning].

so here i am again, pilates-ing my core into shape at work. today, though, i thought ahead. i wore a dress so that i would not have to pull jeans back on over my sticky legs [i'm lying - i didn't wear a dress for this reason, but it certainly worked to my benefit]. i turned off the space heater underneath my desk, and instead, during my 30-second break, i ran out and turned the air conditioner on so i would have a nice cool haven to walk out into. i also crunched in a shadier spot of the office. and, i waited until 5pm so i would only have to sit in my sweat for one more hour rather than 6 [again, not planned. couldn't work out til boss left]. and while i still wish i had a shower room readily available, i am much more comfortable than i was on monday.

i'm getting into a pattern [albeit random] of sticking to this routine once a day, and i'm finally beginning to feel my body's reactions to these movements and notice how certain aspects of the routine become easier each day while others seem to almost become more difficult [probably because i'm finally doing them correctly]. i'm figuring out which parts of my body are being targeted and i can now tell when i'm holding my body in the wrong position and need to adjust myself one way or another. it feels good to be doing this for my body, however small an action it may be. it would be nice to lose a few pounds [damn you, in 'n out] but i really just want to feel healthier and get my body in better shape, and, well, i've gotta start somewhere. and for someone who is not prone to exercising, this is a big step in the right direction. now i've just gotta keep it up..

also, i've had 2 liters of water so far today and my pee is still yellow.

why must you steal?

Dear Hermitage Thief,

Remember sometime last fall when our beirut table went missing? I bet you do, because you stole it. Yes, you came into the driveway, rummaged through the parking spots, and found the large piece of wood leaning up against the back wall. You must have known that table was back there. No one walks into a parking area you cannot see from the road unless they are looking for something in particular. Did you watch us at our party from across the way? I can imagine you were jealous. We sure were having a good time. Why didn't you just come over and join us? No need to steal, Thief.

Those apartments next door to us are bad news, and I assume this is where you live. Why am I making this assumption? Because in January, you stole my bike, too. My bike, hidden from the road. My bike, visible only to those of you who live in that complex next door. To the couple that is constantly screaming at each other: was it you? To the guy that is obsessed with Tim's motorcycle: you seem nice, but, I suppose it could have been you? To the old woman who complains when we party but who I secretly think is adorable: I don't think it was you, but at this point, everyone is a suspect.

It is May now, and while the memories of the realization that my bike was really gone still linger, I have moved on. Matt has gotten me a new bike [which is currently securely locked up in an undisclosed location] and we've purchased a ping pong table which is now used when the urge to throw ping pong balls into cups filled with beer should strike. I've come to grips with the fact that you had taken what you were going to take and you were now going to leave us alone. I was not ready to forgive OR forget, but I was ready to move past all this and get on with my life.

Until last night.

ANOTHER BIKE?? WHILE WE WERE AT HOME?!!
Now...NOW, Thief, you have gone too far.
Why did you need another bike? Was mine not good enough for you? My dad made that bike for me, you know. So why did you have to take Liz's bike? She so generously left it for us when she moved back east. Yes, you're right, the bike did a lot of sitting around. But it was used from time to time when someone needed a bike in a jiffy. Just the other day Matt was riding it up and down the street, catapulting himself off of it after skidding to abrupt stops. See? We use it. And AGAIN, the bike was even MORE hidden than mine was! Not only was it inside our parking area, but it was up against the wall in front of the cars. It was there when Bags and DT went to the grocery store, while Tim and I were inside, and it was gone an hour later. When did you do this? And do you have the powers of a ninja? Or a cat? A ninja cat, perhaps? How did we not hear you??? And how did you know it was there??? Old lady...I've got my eye on you.

But seriously, Thief, this was uncalled for. I am completely and utterly disappointed in you, and ready to snap your neck should I ever catch you. Please, return the bike unharmed and no one will get hurt.

In the meantime, go fuck yourself.

Love,
Me

i don't remember what you sound like

throughout the course of my day at work, i listen to LOTS of music.
boat loads.
each day we get packages upon packages filled with "HOT NEW MUSIC VOL. 385" and "LISTEN TO THIS CD BECAUSE I PROMISE YOU IT'S GOING TO BE BETTER THAN ANYTHING YOU'VE LISTENED TO RECENTLY" and things of that sort.
to be completely honest with you, i couldn't tell you WHAT the fuck i listened to yesterday. i'll remember a band's name. i know that i put it into the stereo and pressed play, but God help me if you expect me to remember what that band sounded like.
why is that?
because EVERYTHING TODAY SOUNDS EXACTLY THE SAME.
MY GOD.
today there is indie music [which has, instead of being a term to describe the handful of artists who are going at this sans major label assistance, become one generic sound unto itself] and there is auto tuned music [thanks, T.I.].
that is it.
and it's a shame.
this isn't to say that there aren't a few gems that pop up every now and again [mozella, band of skulls...mmm, ok that's about it] but honestly, every single thing i listen to sounds like it could be off the same album. that's what we need. one huge giant album with every song made in the past 6 months on it. then i could listen to the first few songs, know what the rest are going to sound like, and only have one disc to place in my 'discard' pile. instead, i have about 100. i also have to empty my e-mailbox at least once a week to make room for the next mass of mp3s i will ultimately receive from artists and pub companies who really believe they have "the next big thing." ugh. you don't.

i should've thought this through

i didn't wake up in time to do my pilates this morning [rather, i woke up but didn't get out of bed in time...] so i decided i'd do it at work. i locked myself in my boss's office and started crunching.

13 minutes later i was finished, feeling a bit better about myself until i noticed the sweat. i had not anticipated this. i don't know why, since i always sweat. but for some reason, this vital outcome of my routine had failed to cross my mind prior to my lying down on the floor.
now,
i don't want to put my pants back on.
i don't want to put my tshirt back on over my tank top.
i wish i had a hair brush.
i wish i had deodorant.
i wish i had a shower.
i wish i hadn't left the space heater on under my desk.
i smell.
and it's only noon.

ugh.

make your own kind of music

i love this woman