dear groundwork, start working.

i work directly above a coffee shop in hollywood called Groundwork.
due to my proximity to this caffeine haven, i routinely stop in for some brew, a tasty mocha, or, for those days when i just need my carbs, a sesame bagel.
in addition to the longer than acceptable amount of time it takes a bagel to make it through the toaster, they've never toasted my bagel correctly, so i've begun just grabbing a bagel and toasting it upstairs, myself. this also saves me a bit of time, so i can be 5 less minutes late to work.
recently, there has been a new girl working the counter.
she's got dark brown hair, tied up in a mop, lisa loeb glasses, and a toothy grin. she's always smiling..at the boys. and i get it, good customer service = more customers. chat up your customers..when it is APPROPRIATE. and i can guarantee you that 10am on a tuesday morning is NOT the appropriate time.

when there is a line 8 people deep and you are the only one working the counter, small talk takes a back seat to making sure your customers are properly taken care of in as timely a fashion as possible. i've worked in food service before. i've worked at a busy busy. busy. cafe. i've worked the register. as soon as you've got an order in, you're on to the next. no time for chit chat during rush hour. you had better be moving your ASS.

-do not pour someone's iced coffee as though you were pouring it for yourself on a lazy sunday afternoon.
-do not sift through the pastries and bagels trying to find 'the perfect one' when they're all going to look exactly the same once inside your indifferent customer.
-do not stand there and lean on the counter while the boy you are helping signs his receipt. you do not need this to complete the transaction. it is finished. you could be apathetically pouring the next customer's iced coffee by now.
-do not come to work for a week with henna-stained hands. they make you look dirty.
-when you chirpily say hello to your coworker and she doesn't give you the time of day, take the hint.
-when you turn to the fridge to take out an egg for a sandwich, do it as FAST AS YOU CAN and be DONE WITH IT. there are people that can not be bothered to wait the 60 seconds it's going to take you to turn back around and get your bearings.
-and when i've been standing in line for 10 minutes and have finally received my bagel, take the $1 i'm holding out for you. it's exact change and the receipt you are so carefully guiding out of the register for somebody else to sign can most likely make it out on its own. i'm late for work.

GOD. you make me so ANGRY.