pee em ess.

i was thinking today that i hadn't shown any signs of pms-ing yet. i should get my period on tuesday and i thought my emotional tantrums should have started by now.

but oh, not to worry.

midway through the day i started craving chocolate.
then my boobs started to hurt.
i originally wanted a chocolate bar but after seeing a slice of chocolate cake served to amy by her mother on the secret life of the american teenager, i decided i wanted cake. chocolate cake. rich, moist, dark, chocolate cake.

i got home and showed my apartment to a friend who may be moving in.
i then went over to matt's where i started to tell him and chris about how i told my friend that she couldn't be too loud if she moved in because there is not much separating my apartment from the family's below. they assumed i was trying to sabotage anyone moving in with me [i've found something wrong with every potential roommate thus far] and they both told me i need to stop being so honest. they told me i needed to woo her.

for some reason this offended me more than anything. i whined, 'i am!' and i sullenly stormed out of matt's room. i stopped and stood downstairs in the dining room for a tick before grabbing my keys and my wallet and leaving the house without telling anyone. i was halfway to the grocery store to get a pint of haagen-dazs chocolate chocolate chip ice cream when i remembered the cake.

i pulled a u-ey and headed to starbucks. they had no chocolate cake. in the same plaza there was a famous cupcakes. i went inside and picked out a hot chocolate cupcake, per the recommendation of the man behind the counter. i almost got a dark chocolate cupcake, and i sort of wish i did, as the one i got was made with milk chocolate and was a red cake instead of the deep black i had envisioned.

either way, my cupcake was placed into a fancy box and i was sent on my way, where i took it back to matt's and promptly devoured it in under 60 seconds.

doppelbloggerdanger

do you think she has seen the movie magnolia, too?

the secret to pap[i]er mache. (shhh!!)

stir the paste while you are cooking it.

i tried like 3 times and it kept getting lumpy.
so i stirred it like pudding.
and it was smooth as a baby's bottom.

1 part flour, 5 parts water, mix together, stir constantly over medium/med-hi heat until it boils, let boil for 3 minutes or so - until pasty, let cool, and use.

ta da!

the fifth

i went to a new bar the other night for charlie's birthday festivities.
it's close to home, it's roomy, it has comfortable couches, it is called The Fifth, and its sign has flashing lights.

at the end of our visit, matt went to close out his tab. at the end of one couch perpendicular to the one i was on, there sat a man. a creepy, creepy man. he was a bit older, had greasy tight curls on his head, and i believe he was wearing glasses. think doug from flight of the conchords, but grosser and creepier [i like doug].



anyway. matt stepped up, and i was sitting there by myself and i happened to glance over at this man. i'm not sure if i heard him say something and i looked over or if i just happened to make eye contact with him, but somehow he got my attention. he put his hands around his mouth and said something. i had no idea what he said. so i got up [why?] and asked him what he had said.

"can i buy you a car?"
"excuse me?"
"can i buy you a car?"
"haha, yeah that'd be nice. i could really use a car."
:stares and says nothing: then, "what?"
"what?"
"can i buy you a car?"
"uhh, no thanks."

he said some other things [i think?] and then stuck his hand out. imagining him as a sad old man rather than a registered sex offender, i shook his hand. he didn't let go. he held onto it, his chubby sweaty hands making me want to vom, kissed it, then tried to put his hand on my face. i proceeded to pull away, managed some sort of smile, promptly turned around and bent over next to baxter and her friend who was showing her something on his cell phone. aware that this man was now probably staring at my ass, i whispered, "just let me pretend i'm interested in what you're looking at." they picked up on what was going on and engaged me in conversation. matt soon showed back up, we left, and he couldn't believe what had happened. a lot can happen in 2 minutes.

monday morning

i am in such a good mood this morning that i did not flinch once when a man almost killed me with his death stare and road rage this morning.

apparently it was my fault. but i didn't see it that way. and i didn't even get angry when he thought otherwise. let me lay out the chain of events for you.

i was driving south on western and was stopped at a red light waiting to make a right onto melrose. there are three lanes going west on melrose at this point, with the 3rd lane only a 'sometimes' lane, as after 9am it can be used for street parking. anyway. i saw that the 3rd lane was open, and that a tractor trailer driving west was turning right at the light, leaving me a bit of a window to turn right on red.
following so far?
so i turn right on red and hear honking and when i look in my rear view mirror there is a pick up ON MY ASS. i have no idea where it came from, but deduced that it was either behind the tractor trailer and passed it in the middle of the intersection, or it was in the 2nd lane and moved to the 3rd lane in the middle of the intersection. because it certainly was not in front of the tractor trailer to begin with, otherwise why would i ever have pulled out?
anyway. so this truck beeped at me, and then it passed me on the left and then tried to get back in front of me, but instead of just proceeding to go in front of me, he deliberately slowed down and pretty much almost made me hit him. so i hit my brakes so i WOULDN'T hit him, and now he is in front of me. then i saw a parked car coming up in our lane, so i turn signaled and started to go over to the left lane. he did the same at the very last minute, just staying on the line between our two lanes so that i couldn't really do anything. all the while he was on his brakes, swerving in between the two lanes so i couldn't pass him, and giving me a nasty nasty look in his side mirror, shaking his head. finally he moved left, so do i, and then i passed him on the right, not making any effort to glance his way or make any sort of gesture. normally i would return his kindness by staying right on HIS ass and making a big scene with horns and ugly faces. but this event honestly did not phase me one bit. i didn't get that feeling in my stomach that i usually get when i am in traffic and want to scream at everyone at the top of my lungs. i didn't feel a single urge to rear end him [what do i care? my car's a tank].
anyway.
screw you, mr. truck, if you feel the need to be an asshole on the road.
because frankly, i. don't. care!

for kristina.

saturday arts and crafts

I FIGURED OUT WHAT TO DO FOR MY CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR AND I AM SO EXCITED.

would you take pity on me?

sent to united customer relations:

Hello,

I received your email address from a nice man named Sidart, who suggested I write you.
I am writing with a question/complaint about a free ticket voucher I received last year.

Last Christmas I gave up my seat on a United flight in order to make room for someone whose flight had been canceled the day before. In exchange, I received a voucher for a free round trip flight to use within the next two years.

I attempted to use this voucher this holiday season to fly from Burbank, Ca to NYC. I had picked out my flight times online: [insert flight times/dates here]. I phoned a reservations agent to redeem my voucher and was told that I could not fly at these times. I could only fly out on Dec 23 at 9:59 am and there were, in fact, no flights that I was eligible for to return on January 3rd. This does not work for me. I have to be at work on December 23rd and cannot fly out in the morning, and the fact that I cannot fly back on January 3rd at all clearly does not work, either.

Apparently, my voucher is only good for certain flights - W, V, and Q classes. I did not know what this meant - no one told me there would be restrictions, nobody explained what these "classes" were, and now I am stuck. Yes, there are flights out of LAX, but as I live 4 miles from Burbank Airport, that is clearly the more convenient option, not to mention that on these dates/times, I have no way of getting to LAX.

So basically, I am writing to see what there is that you can do for me. I feel a bit duped by the person who handed me this voucher and told me I could use it on any round trip flight I chose. I gave up my seat as a favor to you. I sat in an airport for 14 hours as a favor to you. I saw my family and friends one day late at Christmas as a favor to you. And now, I am asking, in the spirit of the holidays, please do a favor for me and help me book the flights I need.

Thank you in advance, and thank you for taking the time to read :)

-----------------

now we wait.

rash.

i have a rash on my face.
i noticed it two nights ago at the gym. it was in the corner of my eye.
the next morning i woke up and it had traveled across the rest of my eye. it was on my eyelid, on the other corner of my eye, and underneath my eye. throughout the rest of the day it creeped onto the left side of my nose and to the outer edge of and behind my ear.
after watching me put my hair behind my ear this morning, detective matt concluded that i must have had something on my hand, rubbed my eye, scratched my nose, and put my hair behind my ear.
this sucks. now my eye is swollen.
it's only gotten worse since two nights ago and it itches like a mofo.
not to mention i look like a freak.

yellow

the apartment downstairs is playing music really loudly. rock music. this usually means that the two boys' parents are out [the van being gone confirms my suspicion].

currently 'yellow' by coldplay is on. and it is bringing me back to 10th grade. man. i remember sitting in a car with kristina and maybe maria? ugh i don't remember. but some parent was driving and this song came on and i was so excited.

now viva la vida is coming up through the floor.
seems to be a coldplay kind of morning.

edit: metallica.
edit: frank sinatra
edit: michael jackson

just let me eat you!!

do you ever feel like some unknown force is trying to keep you from doing something?

i do.
like just a minute ago.

after halloween, my boss brought in the pounds of extra candy that she was left with after the last of the trick-or-treaters had gone. most of this i left in the kitchen on the 3rd floor [it was gone in a day] but i horded just a wee bit of it for myself: the haribo mini gummy bears. i brought most of them home to hermitage, but i kept a few hidden on my desk for when i was having an afternoon craving or felt like i needed to reward myself after getting through another busy day. today after my walk i thought i should treat myself to something sweet and gummy [it was a long walk!]. i went over to the spot on my desk in between the cd cases and the organizational paper basket and i reached for the last bag of bears. these guys have gotten me through a lot over the last couple of weeks, and i was sad to be finished with them. i reluctantly began to tear open the 2 in. x 2 in. plastic bag.
it wouldn't open.
i tried from the other side. it still wouldn't open.
i tried from the middle, i tried twisting my hands in the opposite direction, but this bag would. not. open.
so finally i tried opening it like a bag of chips.
and this is what happened.

trai my chai

when i worked at the garden street cafe we would make our own chai tea. it was so delicious and i had to have the recipe. when i went back to skidmore i took the recipe with me and made it on a semi-often basis [the spices were a bit pricey considering i had to get most of them from four seasons, and we all know how ridiculously over priced local health food stores can be..]

anyway.
the last time i made this drink was when i was in london in the fall of 2007. i made it for one of the students' study breaks. i had found a bangladeshi grocery store on brick lane, and i got these amazing spices [cardamom seeds, whole star anise] for SO cheap. they were 2 pounds or less. and when you are being paid in pounds, there is no need to think about the conversion. so these were a steal. i bought a whole bunch and made my 38 students a big batch of chai.

anyway - that's the last time i made it. 2 years ago.
i talk about making it every once in awhile, but it is a bit of a production, and to be honest, it's hard to be inspired to make a traditionally warm and cozy drink when it's 80 degrees out.
but the weather here has been getting a bit chillier, and when i was at Jon's last night [international supermarket] i happened upon their middle eastern spice section. the prices for these spices [rhyme!] were quite reasonable, and in front of me was basically everything i needed. i have some left over from london, but don't quite have the heart to finish them off [sentimental pack rat that i am]. so i splurged and bought my supplies and went home and made myself a batch. and now i would like to share it with you. :)

CHAI!
1 gallon H20
.5 cup sugar [i would even go less next time. this batch came out super sweet, and while the milk calms it down a bit, i bet you could afford to go with 1/3 cup of sugar..though i haven't tried that yet, so don't quote me]
.5 cup honey
1 oz fresh ginger, thinly sliced
5 cardamom pods, broken open
2/3 T ground cardamom [i cut this recipe down from a much larger one, so disregard the strange measurements]
1/2 T ground nutmeg
3 cinnamon sticks, broken in half
1/2 T ground cinnamon
1/24 oz [maybe about 2 T?] cloves
3 peppercorns
2 star anise
1.125 oz black tea, loose [assam and darjeeling work well if you can't find straight up black tea. also, if you can't find loose tea, you can always buy bags and cut them open. this is sometimes easier, math-wise, as you can figure out the weight based on the number of bags, total weight, etc.]


-Combine sugar, honey, water and spices in a large pot [now you can do this one of two ways. you can either throw the spices right into the pot and strain them afterwards, or you can make a bouquet garni with a bit of cheesecloth and throw the little package right in].
-Bring to a boil and let simmer for 10 minutes
-Turn off burner
-Add in tea [again, in a cheese cloth or straight into the pot. i find that the tea diffuses much better if you pour it straight into the pot and then strain using a very fine strainer or a strainer + cheese cloth..or very carefully with paper towels like i used to do before i invested in a $3 package of cheese cloth].
-ONLY KEEP TEA IN FOR 6 MINUTES. this is very important. if you leave the tea in for too long you will end up with bitter chai. black tea is strong - so be careful!
-strain tea and/or spices if you have floaters
-pour yourself a mug of hot tea, add milk, and ENJOY.

:)

jason segel rocks my world

last night i went to see the swell season [glen hansard & marketa irglova from the movie Once].

more on this later, but in the mean time, take a look at the special guest who showed up at the end of the set.

AH JASON SEGEL. HOW COOL.

a very large berry

right??

my turn for synchronicity

it seems like synchronicity is the thing of 2009. at least for kristina and a girl whose blog she is subscribed to.

so here for you today, i have my own case of it.

sometime saturday, matt and i were talking about the film fargo and the fact that i hadn't seen it. so we got home and asked tim if he wouldn't mind downloading it.

i got to the gym and up on one of the tvs was steve buscemi. my friend jeannine commented on how great he was in reservoir dogs and then how even more wonderful he was in fargo.

i stopped at home after the gym to grab some things and checked the mail. in the pile was a piece of junk mail that i decided to turn over and inspect. it was from fargo, nd.

the film had not finished downloading by the time we got home, but it WAS finished yesterday, and so i watched it last night. and was not disappointed. i wished it had gone on for longer.

i chose the wrong machine

i got to the gym on saturday and almost the entire back row of ellipticals was free. there were 2 women and 2 men spread among the probably 15 machines. there were more than enough machines for me to have an empty one on each side, but i wanted to be in front of a certain television, so i jumped onto an elliptical next to a woman on the phone. i put in my headphones and found the channel for cnn. all of a sudden i heard the woman next to me saying something. i took my headphone out of my right ear and said "what was that?"
"i have no idea how to use this thing! my sister just bought it for me and i have no idea how to use this stupid thing!"
she was referring to her iphone, which, i found out, she had just received that day.
let me tell you what else i found out.

"2009 has been such a rough year" for her. her last cell phone broke, she paid $100 to have it fixed, and "the fucking thing broke again." she has no money, so her sister bought her an iphone. her son was taken away from her today and is now in "the freak house." i believe she was referring to her ex-husband's house. ["do you know michael madsen? he's my ex. he's fucking crazy. drunk lunatic. bitter because he was supposed to be brad pitt." -give or take a few words-]

i looked down at her machine and saw that she had only been running for 8 minutes.
oy.

she proceeded to tell me all about the mess with her lawyers and about her dentist [?] and her doctor and how everyone is yelling at everyone and how she is allergic to second-hand smoke and no one will believe her, and how she missed her first audition in a year [for Cold Case] because she was sick, and how her doctor told her that she was only sick because of stress and that she should eat well and take care of her body ["even though it's really because of the smoke."] "what is it with these people? is it really just the town??" i said that yes, i thought it was just the town we lived in, and i asked her how long she had been here, thinking maybe she was new to the scene ["oh, pretty much my whole life."].

nicolas cage was on one of the tv's. "ugh, what a jerk. do you know he just kicked the mother of his son out of the house? their son just turned 18 and the day that he did, he kicked them out. he could've bought them a nice house in the hills and maybe given them a million dollars or something to set them up. but he didn't. 'get out my house NOW!!' and he gave them $1500. can you believe that??? i've been friends with this woman for 22 years, poor thing. and her son just attacked the paparazzi the other day and now he'll face jail time because he's 18. ugh and nicolas cage is not even attractive. he never was."

she asked me how many hours a day i work out and when i said not very many [uhh...one?] she asked me why. i said because i worked and had other things to do. she asked me if i had roommates. she asked me how i met my boyfriend. she asked where i went to school. she asked what liberal arts meant. she said she used to dance. she kept saying 'huh? huh? huh?' because she thought i was saying something when i actually wasn't. i was trying to elliptical.

she would stop pedaling when she had something really serious to say and she would look me right in the eye, sometimes touching my shoulder.

she went on for 21 minutes. i know this because i looked down at my machine when she abruptly left. she had received a phone call, had no idea how to answer it, had me do it for her, and then finally said 'hello?' after i said 'talk! say hello!' she then told whoever was on the phone that she was going to step outside. and with that she jumped off her machine, scooped up her pink towel from off of the floor, and left.

no 'see you later,' 'be back soon,' 'nice talking to you' or anything of the sort. which i was slightly surprised about, and then thought better of the situation and started to laugh. of course she wouldn't acknowledge me when she had something better to occupy her time with. it is, in fact, how the people in 'this town' operate. i kept looking behind me to see if she was coming back in the gym. i didn't see her again.

i wondered the entire time that we were talking if anyone else was seeing what was going on. did they know that a. this woman was crazy and b. i had no idea who she was and she was literally holding me captive? i laughed again at how funny we must have looked and then thought about how grateful i would have been if i had been in another's shoes and was watching my situation from afar. while i was in it, all i wanted was for her to stop talking and leave me alone. but now, well now i've got one more 'only in la' story for the books.



[i did think for quite awhile that maybe she was just one of those crazies that had done a lot of research and was able to lie through her teeth very very well.
so when i got home i did my own bit of research and found that this woman does exist. and that her name is jeannine bisignano. and that she was, in fact, married to michael madsen back in the day.]

friday the 13th

for as long as i can remember, my friday the 13ths have been extraordinary days. my luck seems endless, and great things always happen. i'm wondering if today might be different.

i woke up to cat vomit on the living room floor [chris graciously cleaned it up].
matt told me he may NOT be able to meet chris perone, his boyfriend and i for dinner after all.
my coffee spilled in my car, seeping into my ignition [my ignition is down by my seat].

this is all i have to work off of so far, but i'm hoping my day turns around.

will keep you posted, as i'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath.

500 days of joseph gordon-levitt

please. for your own sake, watch this video.
if you've seen 500 days of summer, you know what it is. and you should watch it again.
if you haven't, you don't know what you are missing.

seriously, if you are ever in your whole life feeling just a little bit blue, this is 100% guaranteed to put a smile on your face and a flutter in your tummy.

AHHHH.

random thoughts of the morning

microwaves are amazing. this machine can bring almost any stale food back to life. i just used it for a stale chewy molasses cookie.

if there is suddenly a packet of hot chocolate in the cabinet, i'm going to assume i can have it.

there is a man/boy/male singing bad spanish songs in the studio. to be fair, he may not be singing badly, and the songs may in fact not be bad, but it is bothering me to no end.

i left my salsa out on the counter. i hope no one ate any.

i can't wait for lunch.

i despise the new itunes store. i can't see complete song names if they don't fit in the space allotted them; there is no way to expand the columns. [i think i may have just used a semi-colon correctly?]

i really hate that when i am typing something that requires emphasis on the word "I," i cannot do it just with capitalization like i can with most OTHER words. i end up writing "IIIIII" and that's just not as clear.

this hot chocolate is delicious :)



edit: 4:15pm the boy is STILL singing. yelling, actually. at the top of his lungs. and i am at my WIT'S END.

blogger annoyance, pt. 1

in two parts:

1. why is there not an iphone app so i can easily blog from the road?

2. why can i not access my dashboard from MY page? i have to go to someone else's blog to get to my dashboard. unless i am missing something. which is more than likely.

i got back on that horse

i went back to the gym yesterday. and i remembered to validate my parking ticket. and i avoided the gate with the man that i had cried in front of the day before.

it's alllll gooooood.

close to home

PRINCIPAL HELD HOSTAGE AT PINE PLAINS HIGH SCHOOL

this shit made cnn!

whenever i hear about some harrowing local event, i hope i know the bad guy. i rarely do, but i always get excited that it's someone i know who has gone bat shit crazy. unfortunately, i don't believe i know this man. but it's still an intriguing tale of a father gone loco at the school that sits "in a rural valley amid rolling hills." [why, pray tell, was that necessary?]

you know it's that time of the month when...

...the parking attendant tells you that you forgot to validate your parking ticket so you owe him $3.00 and you burst into tears.



thank god i had immediate access to this song on my drive home.

deal with it.

i got girly.
i have a flower as my photo.

..this may or may not change.

but for now,
deal with it.

"and i've done all i can...now i'm starting to see maybe it's got nothing to do with me"...barf.

i just decided in this moment to start an ongoing post about people who use song lyrics as a means to express their feelings in their facebook status updates.

it KILLS me when people do this.
see a movie or a tv show with a funny quote? cool.
politician say something stupid that you want everyone else to see? cool.
got some rad song lyrics you just wanna share with the world? ok, cool.
you're feeling lonely, sad, angry, in love, confused, etc etc and instead of your own words you decide that john mayer can say it better? AHHHHH!!!!

so here is where those updates shall lay to rest.

[i suppose for the sake of us all, i shall spare you the names of the facebook users who have sinned]

here we go.

"Your voice was the soundtrack to my summer..Do you know you're unlike any other? You're eyes are the brightest of all the colors, I dont wanna ever love another, ull always be my thunder. Strike me down with lightning, let me feel you in my veins, I wanna let you know how much I feel you're pain.......... [Boys Like Girls "Thunder"]

"Your face is scarred with age. You'er 23, how could that be?" [Stars "Going, Going, Gone"]

"And we won't be breathing in that same sun again None of this will ever surface again How we get older, how we forget about each other" [Converge "The Saddest Day"]

"cuz theres no tomorrow. just a picture perfect day that lasts a whole lifetime." [Jay Z "Young Forever"]

"let's take our time. i just want to look into your eyes and catch my breath...i've got that feeling" [Darius Rucker, "History in the Making"]

good weekend

dear diary,

i had a lovely weekend. nothing incredibly noteworthy happened, it was just a nice, happy, weekend. and now i shall tell you about it.

friday night i was sick [my weekend looks up from here]. i don't know what it was..i thought it was the fried food from the night before that were causing the stomach cramps, but when i got home from work and immediately crawled into bed [not to arise until 9am the next morning], i figured it was more than just the chicken fingers. i had a bit of a fever and was a tad nauseous and beyond tired. i slept on and off. matt went out and got me saltines and chicken broth, which i ate over the course of a long time while watching america's next top model. i began feeling a bit better before bed, and felt almost back to normal the next morning. weird.

saturday morning i went to EAT for breakfast with matt, chris, and tim. i ordered bacon and eggs and couldn't quite finish it all. tummy was still a little off. they also started using new potatoes for their homefries. instead of crispy, delicious, thinly sliced potatoes, they have small cubes with peppers and onions. not crispy. not the same. very disppointed. my arnold palmer was tasty, though.
matt worked upstairs for a lot of the day while i lied around watching hulu and doing other mindless activities to pass the time. we decided at some point that we would go for a bike ride, but matt had to fix our flat tires. just as he was about to start working on mine, we locked ourselves out of the house. chris and tim had gone to do laundry and all of the normal burglar entries were, for the first time, inaccessible. so we hung out outside. and it was great. we pushed each other up and down the street on the skateboard. one of us would sit on it and the other would run and push. it was remarkably exhilarating. i fell so many times and could not stop laughing. when chris and tim finally got home i didn't want to go inside!

saturday night we had grilled cheese and lipton's soup secrets for dinner [left over from my sick night]. that soup was a high school snow day in a bowl.
afterwards, matt worked for a little bit more and i began making my Seriously Sickeningly Unhealthy Cinnamon Buns [recipe to be posted soon]. as soon as the dough was rising we went over to charlie and baxter's and sat out by their pool with some of their neighbors. one of the girls there had a pure bred saint bernard. i don't think i've ever seen one before. she was beautiful. my timer went off which meant my dough was ready, and matt, chris, tim, and i went home, with charlie, baxter, and [c]k[h]rissy close behind. i told them the cinnamon buns would be done within the hour, which is presumably why they came over. but i forgot that once i put them together and rolled them up and placed them in the pan, they had to rise for another 45 minutes before i baked them.
whoops.
they left before they were finished.
more for us.
they were finally done around 1am.
AND THEY WERE SO GOOD OH MY GOD.

watched the new hbo show, Bored to Death, with jason schwartzman, zach galifinakis, and ted danson. not as funny as i had envisioned, but i certainly set myself up for this one. worth checking out. and i shall continue to watch.
chris fell asleep on the couch and started snoring unfathomably loud. we kicked him and threw things at him and he wouldn't wake up. he finally did and shouted something that sounded like 'oh damn!' the three of us burst out laughing, not able to contain ourselves when he yelled it a second time. while we were trying to figure out exactly what it was that had come out of his mouth, he turned around, big grin on his face and told that that 'lil' man' is what he had said. lil' man is the name of charlie and baxter's dog, who was nowhere to be found at this time of night. we figured he must have been dreaming. i literally could not contain myself and laughed for minutes straight. i was in pain. it felt SO good to have a laughing attack like that. it had been so long. and there has been so much stress built up in my life recently that i felt as if i were pushing it out of my body. this of course, is not true, as it is most certainly back, but for some reason it feels just a little less worse than it did : )

i woke up at 7am on the couch [what? when is the last time THAT happened?] and stumbled upstairs to go back to bed. woke up around 9, showered and went to meet matt's friend joel and his wife for lunch. joel is in the band broke city, which matt did some recording with last year. their songs are great! listen! joel lives in utah but was out here for a conference, so we met him for a quick lunch in between panels. we picked up allan on the way down, only to have to switch into his car after matt's started making funny noises.
we made it down to the westin by lax and ate at habit burger. matt and i had already eaten habit burger earlier this week, and eating it twice in one week, even twice in two weeks, is breaking our fast food burger rule. "but allan and joel and his wife just have to try it! i can't drive by a habit and not eat there!" said matt. so we stopped. and i [half] begrudgingly ordered a burger. ugh.
to the gym today or BUST.

joel and his wife are SUCH nice people. UGH! i wish they lived in los angeles. they would be such a lovely addition to our friend base. his wife is the nicest person i have met that has been wearing an ed hardy shirt. she was so nice that i didn't even notice she was wearing one. matt had to point it out to me. what lovely people.

we went home and sat around with tim and chris and chelsey, picked at the cinnamon buns, watched some Big Love and tried to figure out what to do with the rest of our sunday. matt and i went outside and rode the ripstick and skateboard up and down the street. some of the leaves on the street are changing color and it is beeeeautiful. the air is crisp and just before dusk the weather is perfect. we took the rest of the balloons from our halloween party and taped them to a big screen tv box out back and shot them with matt's blow gun. then we picked a lemon from the tree and shot that. then we got some soda cans and filled them with water and shot those. then it got too dark. sigh. hitting something with a blow gun is probably one of the most satisfying things ever. that, along with fitting the last piece into a puzzle and popping bubble wrap.

we sat around the house for the rest of the evening debating what to do. we watched indian jones and the last crusade. i had never seen it. jb came over. we watched some nature show about the loneliest animals. it was sad. we tried to watch iron man but were unsuccessful. matt and i went to my house to put a load of laundry in and then came back to hermitage. we watched the simpsons. lauren came over. tim put on true blood. chris went to bed. matt and i went back to my house and did more laundry, made english muffin pizzas, watched the office and 30 rock, and went to bed. i went to bed happy and woke up feeling not so bad for a monday. i dropped matt off at home and got an earlier start to my day than i usually do. perhaps the early morning sun is having an effect on me.

citizen's arrest

earlier this evening i looked out the window of the building i am working out of [short-term] and saw 3 high school-aged boys walking across the street. they looked like punks with their big hair and their baggy jeans, and i figured they were probably up to no good. but high-school no good. like sitting on the curb under a tree and getting high kind of no good.
a while later my old boss walked into the room and was staring out the window over my desk. i took a gander and saw a white SUV with 2 armed patrolmen, escorting these three boys in handcuffs into the back of their vehicle.
i wondered what had happened that turned what i assumed to be high school boys into apparent criminals.
i suppose i will never know.
though the knowledge [read: guess] that the building next door is in fact a crack house and the fact that the building i am in has bars on the windows and a gate you must unlock before getting to the front door give me the idea that this is not too uncommon.

REgina SPEKTor

i saw her the other night.
at the greek theater.
not only did i just see her, i heard her sing.
i cried during the dolphin song and during "us"
i wanted to cry a number of other times, but those were due to the tone deaf male behind me.
no one should sing out loud at a regina concert. you cannot duplicate her voice. especially if you are a boy. no chance. so uhhh, shut the eff up. when the rest of the venue is quiet and listening to regina's voice float above the crowd and up into the stars, you shut your mouth. ugh. screw you.

anyway.
regina is incredible live. she blew me away. i know i love her records, and i figured she'd be pretty good live, but she could not have been more spot on. she was practically flawless, her pitch was incredible, and she had such grace. her poofy white dress with oversized black bow helped, too. when she began receiving marriage proposals from the males in the house, she just giggled bashfully. when the wind blew her hair in front of her face [it was hella cold. i wore a scarf and hat and jacket. what??] while she was singing and playing piano, she smiled and laughed and went with it. she spoke endlessly of her happiness and how much she loved doing what she was doing.

what a dame.

first blush

the color i just painted my nails.

flashback [for kristina]

in case you forgot what 92.7/96.9 WRRV played during our junior and senior years, i've compiled a list for you [i love when work entails researching music from 2001 and 2002].
you can add these to the bus garage mix.

was going to email you, but thought i'd make it public so i always know where to find it..

Default - Wasting My Time
Goo Goo Dolls - Here Is Gone
The Calling - Wherever You Will Go
The Strokes - Someday
Outkast - The Whole World
Sheryl Crow - Soak Up the Sun
Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
Matchbox Twenty - Mad Season
Aerosmith - Jaded
Eve 6 - Here's to the Night (I took video of Jr. prom and put it to this song. who was i?)
Fuel - Hemorrhage
Shaggy - It Wasn't Me



eh, and just in case you don't follow my blog as religiously as i do yours [you do], i think i'll email it to you anyways.

love you.

7 things.

i'm not particularly fond of like miley cyrus.
but every time i watch this video, i change my mind about her for 3 minutes and 40 seconds.

my friend danny

danny wrote this song.
matt produced it.
it was turned into a video for a show danny is working on.
it is amazing.
please show to everyone you know and make these kids stahs!

praying mantis on the floor

have you ever seen a praying mantis??
they are AMAZING!!!

"mono's got a praying mantis!" exclaimed chris from the dining room.
matt and i went sprinting in, horrified at what we might find.
the little guy didn't look too hot, and mono was batting him around the floor. i grabbed the cat and chris threw him outside.

we sat on the floor and watched the praying mantis [let's call him pete] as he struggled to regain himself. his wings were up, and he looked a little tattered. it was the same one matt had seen out his window the other day. he wasn't walking, wasn't moving much at all, really, except for his head, which would turn and study each of us whenever we made a move. matt got up and left the room at one point and pete's head immediately twisted around and watched him walk out the room. i swear this thing was making eye contact with me. it was unbelievable.

anyway. long story short, pete slowly seemed to collect himself. his wings settled back in, he took some small steps forward, and soon climbed up on the table leg and settled in. he was rocking back and forth and while we thought he was just woozy from his near-death experience, it turns out that pete's kind always do that. they move from side to side when they are in a tree to disguise themselves as a leaf blowing in the wind! ah! brilliant!!
you can read about all of the AMAZING praying mantis facts HERE. they are truly amazing animals. they seem to be above and beyond any other insect. i feel very grateful to have seen one of these alien creatures and to have been able to get so gosh darn close!

anyhow - we kept the cats outside and let pete hang by himself for a bit. when we went to collect him to bring him back outside, we saw that he was gone. worried that he could be in any of a million places in the house, we were relieved when he popped down from under the table. we gently pushed him into a box and put the box in the tree that he hailed from. i assume from there he found his way home.

keep your eyes out for these suckers. yes, it has taken me 24 years to see one with my own eyes, but they are out there. and they are incredible.

heart of india

i just went on an extended lunch date with matt.
we went to our favorite indian restaurant.
heart of india cafe.
we are regulars. and it feels good.
my tummy right now, on the other hand, does not.
i don't feel sick, by any means, just stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey.
i have to crack my back but i can't turn around to crack it because my stomach is too full.

anyway.
if you are ever in the los angeles area, please support this amazing restaurant.
their lunch buffet ($8.99) is out of this world, and their entrees are 2 meals in one. and so good. and if you drink beer, make sure and order a Yeti. it is delicious.
oh, and make sure and get raita with your meal. it is a yogurt/cucumber/mint dressing that you put on top of all your food. it is amazing.

sunny and sehti will take very good care of you.
tell them we sent you.

4523 Sepulveda Blvd
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403

be nice to me, i gave blood today!

that's what the heart-shaped sticker on my shirt says.
the other sticker is a large circle with the words 'i make a difference' with my name in the middle.
and my bandage is bright pink.
michelle informed me that pretty soon they will be switching to only red bandages. i told her that was a shame. the pinks and purples are what make it fun. she agreed.
we chatted about hiking, cross-country trips, europe, and autumn on the east coast. she was easily the friendliest blood drive technician i've ever had. check plus plus for michelle!
anyhow.
my arm is feeling pretty good. my body is feeling pretty good. the post-donation oreos and cheese nips certainly helped. it's why i go.
well, that and, it's nice to think i'm saving someone's life.

spumante

we decided tonight that spumante sounds like a dirty word.

but despite this decision, i still drank an entire bottle.
i had an incredibly productive [long] day at work and was feeling celebratory [what a great feeling, to be in an extraordinary mood after getting out of work an hour and a half late on a monday!]. plus, i needed something to wash down my impromptu in n out burger.

on my to-do list for what little is left of this evening:
consume a jar of water.
crossword.
bed.

and then i made pie

my afternoon wasn't as exciting as i thought a sunday afternoon would be.
so matt suggested i bake something.
i had, after all, had an excellent morning baking banana bread. so why not bake more? it is the one thing that is sure to cheer me up no matter what.

i just baked an apple pie last week, so i wanted to mix it up.
we decided on strawberry rhubarb. mmm.
but after visits and phone calls to 3 different stores, no one had fresh rhubarb. ugh.
standing by the strawberries, i noticed how particularly tasty the blackberries looked.
thinking about what might complement the blackberries best, i settled on peaches. i grabbed what the scale said to be 1 3/4 pounds of peaches (just under $4). upon arriving at the register, thrilled at the number of peaches i had procured for such a small amount of cash, i saw my total just eek past $20. confused, i looked at my total peach price. $7.42 for 3.43 lbs.
??
i told the woman at the register that their scales in the produce department were wrong. i ended up purchasing double the amount of peaches i had thought! i don't have this kind of money! she said she would mention it to their produce manager. she'd better. i will be back.

anyhow. upon completing our quick pizza dinner, i got to work.
boy, it's amazing how quickly baking to the avett brothers calms me down. i'm lucky i live with 3 hungry boys who keep me from getting fatter than i otherwise would.

so here's the whole point of this post.
[i have yet to taste it. it is still in the oven. i will update immediately if i discover this creation is inedible.]

blackberry peach crumb pie

filling:
8 sm-med peaches
1 c blackberries
1/2 - 3/4 c sugar
2 1/2 T cornstarch
dash of cinnamon

crumb topping:
1 c oats
1/2 c packed brown sugar
6 T flour
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
8 T butter, softened a tiny bit and cut into pieces

-Preheat the oven to 400
-Peel, pit, and slice the peaches. Halve the blackberries. In a large bowl, combine fruits, sugar, cornstarch, and cinnamon. Gently mix together and put to the side.
-In another bowl, combine all of the topping ingredients and mash together with your fingers. [the best part!]
-Someday I will take the time to make my own pie dough. Tonight, I use Pillsbury pre-made roll-up dough. [I've had wonderful luck with this, time and time again]
-Pour fruits [and some of the juices] into pie dish.



-Crumble your topping on top of the fruit, so as to cover it completely.
-Place the pie dish on a lipped-cookie sheet [the juices are gonna pour] and place in the oven at 400 for 20 minutes, then lower to 350 and bake for another 20 minutes until crumb topping is golden brown.
-Take out, cool, and eat!!



edit: delicious.
a bit on the soupy side - maybe a bit more cornstarch? less fruit juices?
still more than edible, still absolutely tasty.
make it!



[also, i know iphone photos in low light are not the best way to sell your food..but trust me on this one.]

nana's 'nana bread

it's a banana bread kind o' sunday morning.
so i made some.
and thought i would share with you the recipe [if i already have, i apologize]



nana's 'nana bread

5 T butter
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar
1 egg
2 egg whites
1 t vanilla
1 1/2 c mashed bananas
1 3/4 c flour
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking powder
1/2 c heavy cream
1/3 c chopped walnuts [or more, if you love nuts as much as i do.. :)]

-Preheat oven to 350.
-Beat butter
-Add sugars. Beat.
-Add egg, whites, and vanilla. Beat.
-Add banana. Beat 30 seconds.
-Combine flour, baking soda/powder, salt in a separate bowl.
-Add to butter alternately with heavy cream, ending with flour mixture.
-Pour into greased 9x5x3 bread pan.
-Bake for about 1 hr 15 min.
-Take out, move onto plate, let cool, and EAT!!





mmmm.

my first vegan endeavor

I found out yesterday that a friend/ex-boss of mine just suffered a break-up. For some reason, my first thought was to bake him a vegan cake. Perhaps this is because the last time we went to lunch he requested a slice of vegan cake. I didn't oblige. So I figured this was as good a time as any, and I would even one-up his past request. I would make it mySELF. hah. I got Matt on board and away we went.

Lucky for me, Kristina had just sent me two new foodie blogs earlier in the morning, and I jumped on them right away to see if they had any delectable goodies. I searched the dairy free section of this DELICIOUS LOOKING BLOG and found these cupcakes. You should certainly check out this blog, but I will also re-post the recipe below, only claiming ownership of the substitution of carob chips for chocolate chips :) [I believe the original poster of this recipe adapted it from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World]

Oh, and I also used a different frosting. I didn't have any rum, and I wanted to use a Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese base, so I put together my own little frosting recipe.

So!
Here's what you need and do!

Pumpkin Chip Cupcakes with Tofutti Cinnamon Frosting

For the cupcake [makes 12, by the way!]:
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/3 cup oil
1 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup soymilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon each ground cloves, nutmeg, and ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup vegan carob chips

For the frosting [link above has the intended frosting, but mine was delicious!]
1 8 oz. package of Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese
2 T Earth Balance Buttery Spread
1-1 1/2 c powdered sugar [this is an estimate - I slowly added until the texture/taste was to my liking]
1 t vanilla extract
2 t cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350.
Put your cupcake cups in your cupcake pan!

-In a medium bowl, stir together the pumpkin, oil, sugar, soymilk, and vailla.
-Sift in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices [sidenote: I do not own a sifter. So this is what I did, and I think it worked quite well: I measured out and combined all of the dry ingredients in a small bowl. I then grabbed two spoons and, using them like salad tossers, i gently picked up the mixture and dropped it back in the bowl again. I did this for a few minutes and then I used a vegetable steamer to sift the mixture in with the wet mix. This way you get all the clumps out!]
-Gently mix by hand until just combined. Don’t use an electric mixer or over mix the batter as it may become too gummy. Once combined, fold in the chips.
-Fill your cupcake liners each with 1/4 cup of mix. I came out with EXACTLY 12 cupcakes when I did this - so you should, too!
-Bake for 22-25 minutes, or until a toothpick [or fork, if you're unprepared like me :)] comes out clean
-Remove from pan, let cool, and frost!

While your cupcakes are baking is an excellent time to put together the frosting.
Beat together the Tofutti, Earth Balance, and vanilla. Slowly add in your powdered sugar and your cinnamon - keep tasting until you're happy :)
[During my first frosting attempt, I added 1/4 cup of soymilk, per another recipe I had found. DO NOT do this!! My frosting came out more like a glaze and was just too thin to stay put on top of the cupcake. I had to run back out and buy a second container of Tofutti. ugh! It seems that the combination "cream cheese"/"butter" works best.]

See the blog linked above for an amazing photo of what these cupcakes should look like.
See the photo below for what they will realistically look like.
See the 2nd photo below for my reaction after eating one for breakfast this morning.

Oh, and our recipient loved them.
Jessica = 1 Vegan Baking = 0

american beauty

i'm a regular Ricky Fitts.

i was there, i swear

so by now you've probably heard about david bergman's crazy zoom-in-5million-times inauguration photo. and 'by now' i mean 6 months ago. but i was just reading through old blogs and came across my tales from inauguration and was reminded of this photo.
and of how i'm NOT IN IT.
ok. i kind of am.
but see, this is what happened.

at the exact moment that david bergman snapped one of his 220 photos [the one in my direction], i was looking away, and matt blocked me.
see for yourself.



see right smack dab in the middle of the photo, in the upper left-hand corner of the bush, there is a man with a blue winter hat on [that i made]. that is matt. the white dot above his head? that is the pom pom on the top of my hat. i could smack myself for this. why wasn't i engaged at this moment? what was SO important that i just had to turn around at the exact moment that my blurred face should have been immortalized in this amazing documentation?? ugh.

anyway. i really was there. the pom pom proves it.

click here for the complete story of this camera nerd's most famous photo.

good boyfriend

so i'm sitting at work, not doing a whole lot, when my office phone rings. it is the security guard from the front gate. "i've got matt adams -huh?- oh, appleton? here. next time you should call ahead and let me know when someone is coming." "oh! great! ok! sorry! i'll come get him!"
thing is, matt didn't tell me he was coming to visit.
surprises are good. surprises visits at work are even better.
good boyfriend :)

greenjerks

more than once i have been walking down sunset, either to amoeba or borders, and have been stopped by the Greenpeace canvassers. i've canvassed before [servenext] and know how difficult it can be, so i do try and stop for others when i can. i've stopped at the greenpeace fellows before, only to be asked for a monthly donation, which i just cannot afford. i've offered them a one-time donation, and they refused. so you can't say i didn't try.

anyway. i try to steer clear of them now, because i know what they will ultimately ask of me at the end of their spiel, and i don't want to waste their time or mine.

so the other day i was walking out of amoeba when a greengirl tried to stop me. i kept walking and said i'd already spoken with someone the other day [she doesn't need to know it was at least six months ago]. she asked if i had signed up and, still walking, i informed her that no, i couldn't afford it. she said 'afford what?' and i said 'the money thing. i can't commit.' she looked at me like i was crazy and asked if i was sure i had spoken to greenpeace. she got me doubting myself and i told her that i could've sworn it was them, but perhaps i was wrong. she said, 'do you know what greenpeace is?' 'yes,' i answered. 'we don't ask for money!' so i told her i was in a rush and if she was super fast i would listen to her. she told me all about the whales and the rainforests, and then as she was turning to the last page in her info-binder she said 'and you're gonna hate me because i know i said i wasn't going to ask you for money, but, i am!'
"i KNEW i had talked to you guys before!" i was livid. EXCUSE ME?? i already told you i could NOT afford a monthly payment. you told me you were not going to ask me for money. so i stood there with you for a good 4 minutes. and then you tricked me. and you think that is going to change my mind? you think lying to me is going to further your cause? wtf. i told her i didn't have health insurance, i'm driving a death-trap of a car, and as much as i support her cause and would love to help out, i just CAN'T. she tried to buddy buddy me and tell me that she didn't have health insurance either, but that she budgets in $25 a month for GP and yada yada, but she didn't move me. she finally softened and said she understood [or maybe i just wanted her to say that.] and she left me running down the sidewalk to get to where i needed to be so urgently [home].

i kinda did but not really?

i don't know how or why [well, i suppose because i DID go abroad with skidmore, albeit after i graduated...] but i am still on the study-abroad homepage. twice.
i love it :)

http://cms.skidmore.edu/ocse/index.cfm

edit:
AND my photo entry from that skidmore homepage photo contest thing is still on their website.
i really don't know why i didn't win...
http://cms.skidmore.edu/photo_contest/contact.cfm

[and in case you're lazy..]

i call it..Skidmore Squirrel with French Fry

october!

happy october!!
i am thrilled [i don't know why?] that it is october. perhaps because it is that much closer to my favorite holidays [thanksgiving and christmas]. perhaps because that means i get to see snow soon. perhaps because i get to see my red hook friends soon. the phrase "perhaps because" is starting to sound wrong. is it?
anyway.
it is october 1st. and even here in la, there is the tiniest "bite" in the weather. that is amazing. i don't remember when it started feeling like fall last year. certainly not this early. i saw some red leaves on the ground yesterday and i smiled real big. the weather has been appropriate enough for sweaters in the evening and for windows [not a/c] at night. i wore shorts to work yesterday and had to put the heat on. i didn't sweat through my clothes during lunch outside. and when i wake up in the morning i feel like i'm waking up in saratoga.
this is amazing!!!


sigh. i want to go to there.

what would your mother think??

on sunday i was driving back from venice with chris and kasha. i was on lincoln, about to merge onto the 10 east. i was in the lane all the way to the right, with a bit of space on my right for cars to park during non-peak hours. i looked to my right and noticed a white audi trying to squeeze its way next to and in front of me via this not-really-a-lane-but-for-the-time-being-i'm-going-to-use-it-as-such lane.
well hellllllll no. if there is one thing i have become since moving to la, it is Queen Bitch on the road. driving in la sucks, and we are all going to suffer. there is no cheating allowed [except sometimes. when i really need to.].
so, i did what any confident, law-abiding citizen driving a beat up '92 saab would do. i did not let him in. i stayed on the bumper of the car in front of me while mr. audio laid on his horn. because i was obviously at fault.
i stared straight ahead while he zipped around back of me and pulled up to my driver's side window. i had turned to my right to say something to kasha when i noticed that he had stopped his car when it was even with mine, despite all of the room in front of him.
"ALSKDJFAKLSDJFLKASJDKFLJASKFDJA YOU BITCH." [yelled with more fervor and passion than you might imagine]
and he sped away.
i was pretty flabbergasted, a little hurt, and then got really worried that he and his friends might shoot me.
he didn't.
and i still won't let him in next time.

little reminders of love

i never get any good blogs when i click on 'next blog.'
but today i did.

this girl is adorable and her posts make me smile my face off.

my boyfriend is [an] amazing [chef]

whenever matt cooks, i usually doubt him.
["why are you putting the raw eggs in with the potatoes??" "that hummus smells like peanut butter."]
somehow, though, his meals always come out absolutely delicious, and i've learned to stop doubting him. though it is this doubt that makes the outcome that much more amazing. so last night, i pretended to doubt him, and i was equally as surprised and amazed at his creation.
i told him i didn't want meat for dinner. and he said, ok, let's do something crazy. how about tofu tacos?
i'll admit, i wasn't 100% into the idea at first, but as soon as we got to the store and started shopping, i got a wee bit more excited.

[at this juncture, i would like to point out how fucking insulting whole foods prices are. at jons, we bought avocados, 4/$1.00. sure, they were a bit on the hard side..the really hard side..but they were 25 cents! for an avocado! woo hoo! we stopped at whole foods for the jamaican jerk sauce, and walked by the avos to see if there were any riper ones. i figured they'd be about $1.00 each. uh. they were $2.99. each. $2.99 for one avocado. are you KIDDING me. we stood there in shock, voiced our opinion ["fuck them!!"], didn't pay any mind to the woman standing right in front of the avocados, and stormed off. we talked about it for the rest of the night. and i'm sure you would have, too. 3 DOLLARS FOR A FUCKING AVOCADO ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? shut UP, WHOLE FOODS.]

ahem. anyhow. we finished our shopping, came home, cracked open some pumpkin beers, and go to work. since this was matt's deal, i just made the mango salsa and let him do the rest. i felt like i was working at the spa, when i would make cutting up the fruit for the fruit salad last me my entire 3-hour shift. i let the mango salsa easily take me an hour. in case you are wondering [mango, peeled cucumber, red onion, jalapeno [all diced], chopped cilantro, lime juice, black pepper]

while i made marathon mango salsa, matt marinated, deep-fried, and baked the tofu, fried the plantains, made an avocado/tofu/garlic/lime sauce, and made his own taco shells. i also added water to a dry horchata mix. oh, and heated up the black beans. go ME.

we sat down, dug in, and i fell in love with matt all over again [just like he said i would]. this food was amazing. i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since last night. it's 11am, but i want my left-overs lunch NOW.

anyhow. point is, my boyfriend is an amazing chef. and i think i'll keep on doubting him, because the surprise is just too good.

keep those windows down

i was driving home from work yesterday, singing in my car. i do this every time i'm in my car. sometimes i get self-conscious and tone down the volume of my voice when i'm at a stoplight, or stopped in traffic on the freeway. sometimes i'll roll up the windows if i'm at a particularly impassioned point in the song. i was feeling that way yesterday, as i was stop-and-go-ing up the 101, until i noticed the woman in front of me. she was in a sebring convertible, not only singing, but rocking her head back and forth and doing stuff with her hands. she was basically dancing. in her seat. for everyone to see. i noticed the guy in the white van in the lane next to me look over at her and smile to himself. it was at this point that i decided to keep the windows down [i was sweating, after all] and continue singing so that everyone could hear me. if they don't want to hear me, THEY can roll up their windows.

i then thought about driving in la and how much i hate it, but that while 9 times out of 10 i despise the drivers next to, in front of, and behind me for no other reason except that they are congesting my roadway, every once in awhile i find a diamond in the rough [and it is rough].

the proximity in which we drive here in this city is remarkable. there are often times for comments through the window, sometimes entire conversations, before you both "speed" away. and this, i like.

just a few weeks ago i was at a stoplight, singing, when i noticed the guy in the truck next to me try to say something. i turned my music down, rolled my window down the rest of the day and yelled, "what?" he said he noticed the "i love new york" sticker on the back of my car and wanted to tell me about the "best" pizza he'd ever had in new york and asked if i'd ever been there ["it's on ? and ? ave"]. "no, i haven't! but it sounds delicious!" i shouted back, before the light turned green and we were on our way.

another time, i was on my bike, stopped at a stoplight. i sneezed. the guy in the car next to me said 'God bless you' and we exchanged "have a good day"s as the light turned green.

yet another time, chris and i were driving to pick up chinese food when the car next to us asked us for directions. we caught up with them at every subsequent traffic light down the road and chatted the entire way down laurel canyon. we almost asked if they wanted to come hang out with us.

on my way home from work one day last year, i was singing "good day sunshine" at the top of my lungs. coming off the freeway ramp, i noticed the guy in the pick up truck next to me look over at me and smile to himself. i kept singing.

anyway, you get it.
sometimes driving in la can be fun and exciting. you never know who you'll meet, or who is listening to you sing.
so keep singing.
it might be somebody's favorite song.

lose big

the biggest loser premiered last night.
i'm watching it on itunes now.
i love this show. i remember when it first started, 8 seasons ago, i was sitting in my parents' bedroom and saw a commercial for it. "they have a show about losing weight?? what??" i was blown away and horrified. reality tv was really starting to kick in.
when i got home from london a year and a half ago, i had no job, i had no school, i had nothing to do. so i watched a season with my parents, got horribly addicted, and am now a huge fan. some people think it's a little over the top, a show with immensely obese people exercising and getting kicked off, one by one, a la survivor [and i understand that this is a qualm of some - if this show is really trying to help people, why are they getting kicked off at all?]..but more often than not, even when these people get 'kicked off' the show, they have been so inspired and given so much hope even from just a few weeks at this facility, that they finish the job at home. it may take them longer, yes, and it may require a whole lot more perseverance and focus and self-control, yes, but they do it. and the prospect of getting kicked off gives those still left at the ranch that much more to work for. they don't want to go home. they don't want to have to do it on their own. so they work even harder. i struggled with the elimination concept at first, but know that there must be a reason for it.
anyway. i'm rambling.
point is, these people are amazing. and watching their journeys is inspiring.
and that is just what i'm going to do.

and then i'm going to go to the gym.

kiwi of my eye

i am eating a kiwi for the first time in a long time.
that's a lie. i ate one yesterday and the day before.
but since this week, i cannot remember the last time i had a kiwi.
my mom used to get them for me and i remember sitting at the kitchen table scooping out the middle white part first and then eating the green goo, enjoying the crunch of the seeds.
times have not changed.

folgers in your cup

the best part of getting in a fight is making up.

i am hormonal

as fuck.

ghost.

just watched it.

shut up.

sometimes i keep talking when i know i should stop.
or say things i know i shouldn't say.
but i know that if i keep them inside of me they'll bottle up and i won't be able to function.
so i say them.
and then wish i hadn't.
and then say other things to try to make the first thing i said seem like less of a big deal.
what?
ugh.
shut UP, jessica.

rock. me. beatles.

we got beatles rock band.
9.9.9 was the most fantastic of days. mainly because of this.
we fulfilled our respective evening duties and all reconvened around 11pm for what was sure to be the best evening of our young adult lives.
it was.
after raiding dt's apt and bringing his ps3 downstairs, we hooked it up, took a deep breath, and slowly pushed the disc into the console.
what happened next can only be described as magical.
as the opening images and music popped up, no one could take their eyes away from the screen. chris and i sat wide-eyed directly in front of the 50-inch plasma television, huge smiles on our faces.
this was it.
we played for hours, our guests arriving in ones and twos, taking their turn at guitar or bass or drums or the coveted vocals. who cares who had the mic in their hand, the whole room was singing.
what joy!
we made it through about half of the game, taking time to enjoy in silence the rare photos and videos we had unlocked through our expertise.
we finished the second half last night. 45 songs in all. now we've just gotta perfect our instruments.
before everyone else was home last night, i played guitar and sang at the same time, the microphone stuck in between my knees. uncomfortable, yes, but a completely wonderful experience. i need a mic stand.
last night was a 6 hour marathon, with time for dinner and a 5-minute break when we needed a second to recover from I Want You (She's So Heavy).
now i'm at work. jonesin hard for some rock band. i can't wait to go home.
in the meantime, Abbey Road remastered will have to hold me over.

labor pains

there were no pains to be found this labor day weekend.
i had a wonderfully relaxing 4-day weekend, after working my butt off all week.
it was well-deserved, i believe.

friday was spent at the beach with matt, where i began the slow recovery of my ocean complex.
i have always loved the ocean. i'd be the first one to run in and jump in the waves. until last year. on two separate occasions, at el matador beach in malibu, i got SLAMMED by big huge waves. waves that take you down under, flip you around, and drag you across the sand. each time i eventually came up, scared stiff and ran to my towel. i was done for the day. but the first time it happened i decided to try again. the second time? no dice. i haven't been swimming in the pacific ocean in almost a year. i'll sit on the beach and as i see the waves come up, my stomach gets all in knots and i get incredibly anxious. it's been a bummer. so on friday, i decided to try again. the waves were small, and i stayed in for a couple of minutes before i started getting anxious and uncomfortable. but now i know that i can do it. even if only for a few minutes. and i'll be back. i won't give up!

on saturday matt and i spent the day getting ready for our camping trip the next day. tim came with us to r.e.i, where i finally bought myself a hat for the sun. then we went to arby's. i felt like i was 12. it was wonderfully bad idea. we rushed home and rushed out to the orpheum to see the avett brothers. matt had never seen them and i was real excited to introduce him to this favorite music of mine that he has never experienced. we took the metro downtown and walked through 4 blocks of ghetto before we reached the comfort of the orpheum's lights. the theater is absolutely beautiful, and the show was incredible. 2nd row, center, thank you very much. matt said it was 1000% times better than he had thought it was going to be. you can't go to one of their shows and not enjoy. i thoroughly suggest, no, ORDER you to go if they ever come in the near vicinity. unbelievable.



we got to bed a little after 2am on saturday night and got out of bed less than 4 hours later to drive up to the mountains. after driving for about 15 minutes we realized we forgot the chicken wire to put around the car [to keep out the marmots] so we had to turn around and go back. ugh were we tired. it was a brutal 4 1/2 hours in the car, trying to stay awake. but we got there. we got our wilderness permit to go up to eagle lake [one of our favorites.]. we found a parking spot. and we cruised up the mountain. last time i had a fairly horrible experience [not in shape, hiking too far, high altitude, 30 lbs on my back..] and this time the difference was incredible. i'd been going to the gym regularly for the past month, and i couldn't believe how much my fitness had improved. we cruised up that mountain in 2 1/2 hours. and not once did i cry, throw up, or even pout. it was great. we met some nice women on the way up, and a kid named adam who finished up the trail with us. matt and i found a nice place to pitch our tent right above the water, and after dumping our bags to claim our space, we jumped into the lake. water was real chilly, but incredibly refreshing, and such a wonderful, natural way to bathe. soon after, we made dinner [jamaican chicken and rice and peas. MMM.], did a crossword, and got to bed real early [just a little after 8!].



i slept horribly. i kept waking up. i think because a. my pillow hadn't fluffed up enough before i tried sleeping on it and b. it was SO quiet. b may not make as much sense..but it was deafeningly silent, and every time i woke up it was hard to fall back asleep. we spent 12 hours in that tent, waking up a little after 8am. we took our time waking up, getting ready, snacking, changing, and then headed up a nearby ridgeline to check out the view. it was beautiful. and sunny. we both got burned [though it's pretty inevitable when you're at 10,000 ft.].

after the ridge we climbed back down, brought some gear out to the lake, and waded across to a rock, where we had a delicious lunch of pasta primavera [i love mountain house dehydrated food], swam a bit more [matt swam, i jumped in and out], and napped on the rock.



after our nap we had to start packing up our gear and head down the mountain. it's so hard to leave this place. we left our campsite at 5:15 but didn't leave the lake until 5:45 because we were too busy lollygagging and taking pictures, trying to prolong our stay. but we had to get down so we could make it to the restaurant at the bottom of the trail.



we BOOKED it down the mountain [hour and a half] and now my legs are paying for it. but we made it to silver city, the little cabin town with a small restaurant/general store. this has become our post-hike tradition. it's so delicious. and so cozy. i never want to leave.
we finished our meal, got some pie and hot chocolate, went outside to look at the stars, and headed down the mountain. i hate leaving. it is the most beautiful place in the world.

what a wonderful, wonderful weekend.

[sorry this was so long.]

zzzzzz

i am so tired.
i would like to go to sleep. now.
but i am still at work.
and after work i have to go to ikea. for work.
[perhaps i will put it off for one more day..]
and then i have to go to the gym.
and make dinner.
and shower.
and socialize with my friends.
and then it's going to be late.
and i'm going to be tired again tomorrow.
at work.