wetsuit

have you ever tried on a wetsuit?

it is ANNOYING.
firstly, they're supposed to be skin tight, so. imagine trying to fit another set of skin over the one you already have.
so you get your legs in. then you've gotta get your arms in. make sure not to pull them out of their sockets.
after you have successfully gotten this far, you must zip up.
did i mention the zipper was in the back?
and that there is a long string attached to the zipper so you can pull it over your shoulder and up behind your head and zip up?
and that it takes me about 5 minutes to do this?
and at this point i am about to have a stroke and die because i am SO HOT?

great.
then there's getting it off.
sounds easy.
isn't.
it's just as tight. and the only real way to get it off is to rip it off so that the suit ends up inside out. so then you have to pull the arms and legs back through before putting it back on the hanger.

that one didn't feel right? here, just try a second one on.

NOT.

the sweat that you have undoubtedly released from your pores during trial #1 will make #2 nearly IMPOSSIBLE. putting on a wetsuit while already wet does not work. i repeat: DOES. NOT. WORK.
at the end of this attempt i was seriously about to keel over. my face was bright red and i had to sit down and take a breather.

gosh, i can't wait until i find one. i don't know how much more of this i can bear.