cash for clunkers? more like eff you.

To Whom It May Concern:

I have owned my 1992 Saab 900 for seven years now. I saw it for sale on the side of the road and knew instantly that it was to be my car. I loved it so much, the woman who sold it to me gave it to me for dirt cheap – she just wanted it to go to a good home. And that it did. My 239,000 mile car has taken me up and down the east coast, to and from college, to concerts, and on road trips. Most recently it has made its way from New York to California, where I currently reside.

Now, I love my car. Ever since I walked into the bank at 17 years old and took out my entire savings to purchase this vehicle, I’ve dreaded the day that I would have to part ways and move on. And as I’ve gotten a bit older, I am still no less attached to my car, but I have come to realize the practicality of my situation…

My car is 17 years old.
My car gets 15 miles to the gallon IF I’m lucky.
My car leaks 2 quarts of oil every other week.
My car only has one cooling fan left.
My car has never had working air conditioning.
My car’s brake pedal will stick if you do not pull up on the pedal with your foot before exiting the car.
My car’s battery will die if you have forgotten to pull said brake pedal up.
My car’s automatic antenna has not come up in years. And my tape deck has just recently stopped working.
My car will not pass California’s smog test.
My car’s exhaust system has dropped out onto the road while driving. Twice.

My car is NOT eligible for the Cash For Clunkers program.

Please, will somebody explain to me WHY this is the case? Can we look at the title of said program for a moment, here? If my car is not a CLUNKER, then please, pray tell, what is?
Ohh, you say a clunker is a 2004 Mazda-RX. I see.
[pause for you to re-read what I just wrote]

Now, putting aside the mere fact that I think that my year, make, and model of car is beyond eligible for this program of yours, can I tell you what is really making me tick? Do you want to know the one thing that is getting real deep down in there and just grinding my gears? It is this: the fact that one day, just about three weeks ago, my car WAS eligible. 18 mpg, baby. And then, as soon as I decided that with this financial help, I might finally be able to take a step towards helping myself [and let’s not forget my environment], somebody [coughEPAcough] decided that the original fuel economy ratings for the vehicles were not accurate. Uh, “the original fuel economy ratings were not accurate”…right, that’s what I said. Anyway, somebody decided that the numbers that have been up on the fuel economy website, that people have been using to determine their eligibility, were going to change.

Flash-forward to the day the program officially commenced: July 24, 2009. Combined Estimated New EPA MPG: 19 mpg

"EPA changed the way it calculated fuel economy ratings starting in Model Year 2008, and has estimated the revised ratings for Model Years 1985-2007. Therefore, as described above, eligibility is determined by the revised ratings rather than the original EPA sticker on the vehicle. Since the revised ratings reflect a lower fuel economy, vehicles that would not be eligible under their original EPA rating may qualify for trade-in." [pg. 33 of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's Final Rule of their Requirements and Procedures for Consumer Assistance to Recycle and Save Program]

Uh, say that again? Vehicles that would not be eligible under their original EPA rating may qualify for trade-in? What about the cars that WERE eligible and now are NOT? Where is your defense for that??

This is absurd. I am absolutely fuming. I no longer understand what this program stands for. I knew a big chunk of this was to boost the economy, but I really really wanted to think that this program was created, at least in part, to help out the average American like myself who honest to goodness owns one heck of a clunker. Forget your silly “to the 4th decimal” revised ratings. And your 25-year age restriction. This program is NOT what it was supposed to be for a LOT of people. I came into 2009 with a whole lot of hope, and what some may even call respect for “you people.” Now, however, I see things as they are: not fair.

Sincerely,

Jessica Neilson