and then i made pie

my afternoon wasn't as exciting as i thought a sunday afternoon would be.
so matt suggested i bake something.
i had, after all, had an excellent morning baking banana bread. so why not bake more? it is the one thing that is sure to cheer me up no matter what.

i just baked an apple pie last week, so i wanted to mix it up.
we decided on strawberry rhubarb. mmm.
but after visits and phone calls to 3 different stores, no one had fresh rhubarb. ugh.
standing by the strawberries, i noticed how particularly tasty the blackberries looked.
thinking about what might complement the blackberries best, i settled on peaches. i grabbed what the scale said to be 1 3/4 pounds of peaches (just under $4). upon arriving at the register, thrilled at the number of peaches i had procured for such a small amount of cash, i saw my total just eek past $20. confused, i looked at my total peach price. $7.42 for 3.43 lbs.
??
i told the woman at the register that their scales in the produce department were wrong. i ended up purchasing double the amount of peaches i had thought! i don't have this kind of money! she said she would mention it to their produce manager. she'd better. i will be back.

anyhow. upon completing our quick pizza dinner, i got to work.
boy, it's amazing how quickly baking to the avett brothers calms me down. i'm lucky i live with 3 hungry boys who keep me from getting fatter than i otherwise would.

so here's the whole point of this post.
[i have yet to taste it. it is still in the oven. i will update immediately if i discover this creation is inedible.]

blackberry peach crumb pie

filling:
8 sm-med peaches
1 c blackberries
1/2 - 3/4 c sugar
2 1/2 T cornstarch
dash of cinnamon

crumb topping:
1 c oats
1/2 c packed brown sugar
6 T flour
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
8 T butter, softened a tiny bit and cut into pieces

-Preheat the oven to 400
-Peel, pit, and slice the peaches. Halve the blackberries. In a large bowl, combine fruits, sugar, cornstarch, and cinnamon. Gently mix together and put to the side.
-In another bowl, combine all of the topping ingredients and mash together with your fingers. [the best part!]
-Someday I will take the time to make my own pie dough. Tonight, I use Pillsbury pre-made roll-up dough. [I've had wonderful luck with this, time and time again]
-Pour fruits [and some of the juices] into pie dish.



-Crumble your topping on top of the fruit, so as to cover it completely.
-Place the pie dish on a lipped-cookie sheet [the juices are gonna pour] and place in the oven at 400 for 20 minutes, then lower to 350 and bake for another 20 minutes until crumb topping is golden brown.
-Take out, cool, and eat!!



edit: delicious.
a bit on the soupy side - maybe a bit more cornstarch? less fruit juices?
still more than edible, still absolutely tasty.
make it!



[also, i know iphone photos in low light are not the best way to sell your food..but trust me on this one.]

nana's 'nana bread

it's a banana bread kind o' sunday morning.
so i made some.
and thought i would share with you the recipe [if i already have, i apologize]



nana's 'nana bread

5 T butter
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar
1 egg
2 egg whites
1 t vanilla
1 1/2 c mashed bananas
1 3/4 c flour
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking powder
1/2 c heavy cream
1/3 c chopped walnuts [or more, if you love nuts as much as i do.. :)]

-Preheat oven to 350.
-Beat butter
-Add sugars. Beat.
-Add egg, whites, and vanilla. Beat.
-Add banana. Beat 30 seconds.
-Combine flour, baking soda/powder, salt in a separate bowl.
-Add to butter alternately with heavy cream, ending with flour mixture.
-Pour into greased 9x5x3 bread pan.
-Bake for about 1 hr 15 min.
-Take out, move onto plate, let cool, and EAT!!





mmmm.

my first vegan endeavor

I found out yesterday that a friend/ex-boss of mine just suffered a break-up. For some reason, my first thought was to bake him a vegan cake. Perhaps this is because the last time we went to lunch he requested a slice of vegan cake. I didn't oblige. So I figured this was as good a time as any, and I would even one-up his past request. I would make it mySELF. hah. I got Matt on board and away we went.

Lucky for me, Kristina had just sent me two new foodie blogs earlier in the morning, and I jumped on them right away to see if they had any delectable goodies. I searched the dairy free section of this DELICIOUS LOOKING BLOG and found these cupcakes. You should certainly check out this blog, but I will also re-post the recipe below, only claiming ownership of the substitution of carob chips for chocolate chips :) [I believe the original poster of this recipe adapted it from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World]

Oh, and I also used a different frosting. I didn't have any rum, and I wanted to use a Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese base, so I put together my own little frosting recipe.

So!
Here's what you need and do!

Pumpkin Chip Cupcakes with Tofutti Cinnamon Frosting

For the cupcake [makes 12, by the way!]:
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/3 cup oil
1 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup soymilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon each ground cloves, nutmeg, and ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup vegan carob chips

For the frosting [link above has the intended frosting, but mine was delicious!]
1 8 oz. package of Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese
2 T Earth Balance Buttery Spread
1-1 1/2 c powdered sugar [this is an estimate - I slowly added until the texture/taste was to my liking]
1 t vanilla extract
2 t cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350.
Put your cupcake cups in your cupcake pan!

-In a medium bowl, stir together the pumpkin, oil, sugar, soymilk, and vailla.
-Sift in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices [sidenote: I do not own a sifter. So this is what I did, and I think it worked quite well: I measured out and combined all of the dry ingredients in a small bowl. I then grabbed two spoons and, using them like salad tossers, i gently picked up the mixture and dropped it back in the bowl again. I did this for a few minutes and then I used a vegetable steamer to sift the mixture in with the wet mix. This way you get all the clumps out!]
-Gently mix by hand until just combined. Don’t use an electric mixer or over mix the batter as it may become too gummy. Once combined, fold in the chips.
-Fill your cupcake liners each with 1/4 cup of mix. I came out with EXACTLY 12 cupcakes when I did this - so you should, too!
-Bake for 22-25 minutes, or until a toothpick [or fork, if you're unprepared like me :)] comes out clean
-Remove from pan, let cool, and frost!

While your cupcakes are baking is an excellent time to put together the frosting.
Beat together the Tofutti, Earth Balance, and vanilla. Slowly add in your powdered sugar and your cinnamon - keep tasting until you're happy :)
[During my first frosting attempt, I added 1/4 cup of soymilk, per another recipe I had found. DO NOT do this!! My frosting came out more like a glaze and was just too thin to stay put on top of the cupcake. I had to run back out and buy a second container of Tofutti. ugh! It seems that the combination "cream cheese"/"butter" works best.]

See the blog linked above for an amazing photo of what these cupcakes should look like.
See the photo below for what they will realistically look like.
See the 2nd photo below for my reaction after eating one for breakfast this morning.

Oh, and our recipient loved them.
Jessica = 1 Vegan Baking = 0

american beauty

i'm a regular Ricky Fitts.

i was there, i swear

so by now you've probably heard about david bergman's crazy zoom-in-5million-times inauguration photo. and 'by now' i mean 6 months ago. but i was just reading through old blogs and came across my tales from inauguration and was reminded of this photo.
and of how i'm NOT IN IT.
ok. i kind of am.
but see, this is what happened.

at the exact moment that david bergman snapped one of his 220 photos [the one in my direction], i was looking away, and matt blocked me.
see for yourself.



see right smack dab in the middle of the photo, in the upper left-hand corner of the bush, there is a man with a blue winter hat on [that i made]. that is matt. the white dot above his head? that is the pom pom on the top of my hat. i could smack myself for this. why wasn't i engaged at this moment? what was SO important that i just had to turn around at the exact moment that my blurred face should have been immortalized in this amazing documentation?? ugh.

anyway. i really was there. the pom pom proves it.

click here for the complete story of this camera nerd's most famous photo.

good boyfriend

so i'm sitting at work, not doing a whole lot, when my office phone rings. it is the security guard from the front gate. "i've got matt adams -huh?- oh, appleton? here. next time you should call ahead and let me know when someone is coming." "oh! great! ok! sorry! i'll come get him!"
thing is, matt didn't tell me he was coming to visit.
surprises are good. surprises visits at work are even better.
good boyfriend :)

greenjerks

more than once i have been walking down sunset, either to amoeba or borders, and have been stopped by the Greenpeace canvassers. i've canvassed before [servenext] and know how difficult it can be, so i do try and stop for others when i can. i've stopped at the greenpeace fellows before, only to be asked for a monthly donation, which i just cannot afford. i've offered them a one-time donation, and they refused. so you can't say i didn't try.

anyway. i try to steer clear of them now, because i know what they will ultimately ask of me at the end of their spiel, and i don't want to waste their time or mine.

so the other day i was walking out of amoeba when a greengirl tried to stop me. i kept walking and said i'd already spoken with someone the other day [she doesn't need to know it was at least six months ago]. she asked if i had signed up and, still walking, i informed her that no, i couldn't afford it. she said 'afford what?' and i said 'the money thing. i can't commit.' she looked at me like i was crazy and asked if i was sure i had spoken to greenpeace. she got me doubting myself and i told her that i could've sworn it was them, but perhaps i was wrong. she said, 'do you know what greenpeace is?' 'yes,' i answered. 'we don't ask for money!' so i told her i was in a rush and if she was super fast i would listen to her. she told me all about the whales and the rainforests, and then as she was turning to the last page in her info-binder she said 'and you're gonna hate me because i know i said i wasn't going to ask you for money, but, i am!'
"i KNEW i had talked to you guys before!" i was livid. EXCUSE ME?? i already told you i could NOT afford a monthly payment. you told me you were not going to ask me for money. so i stood there with you for a good 4 minutes. and then you tricked me. and you think that is going to change my mind? you think lying to me is going to further your cause? wtf. i told her i didn't have health insurance, i'm driving a death-trap of a car, and as much as i support her cause and would love to help out, i just CAN'T. she tried to buddy buddy me and tell me that she didn't have health insurance either, but that she budgets in $25 a month for GP and yada yada, but she didn't move me. she finally softened and said she understood [or maybe i just wanted her to say that.] and she left me running down the sidewalk to get to where i needed to be so urgently [home].

i kinda did but not really?

i don't know how or why [well, i suppose because i DID go abroad with skidmore, albeit after i graduated...] but i am still on the study-abroad homepage. twice.
i love it :)

http://cms.skidmore.edu/ocse/index.cfm

edit:
AND my photo entry from that skidmore homepage photo contest thing is still on their website.
i really don't know why i didn't win...
http://cms.skidmore.edu/photo_contest/contact.cfm

[and in case you're lazy..]

i call it..Skidmore Squirrel with French Fry

october!

happy october!!
i am thrilled [i don't know why?] that it is october. perhaps because it is that much closer to my favorite holidays [thanksgiving and christmas]. perhaps because that means i get to see snow soon. perhaps because i get to see my red hook friends soon. the phrase "perhaps because" is starting to sound wrong. is it?
anyway.
it is october 1st. and even here in la, there is the tiniest "bite" in the weather. that is amazing. i don't remember when it started feeling like fall last year. certainly not this early. i saw some red leaves on the ground yesterday and i smiled real big. the weather has been appropriate enough for sweaters in the evening and for windows [not a/c] at night. i wore shorts to work yesterday and had to put the heat on. i didn't sweat through my clothes during lunch outside. and when i wake up in the morning i feel like i'm waking up in saratoga.
this is amazing!!!


sigh. i want to go to there.

what would your mother think??

on sunday i was driving back from venice with chris and kasha. i was on lincoln, about to merge onto the 10 east. i was in the lane all the way to the right, with a bit of space on my right for cars to park during non-peak hours. i looked to my right and noticed a white audi trying to squeeze its way next to and in front of me via this not-really-a-lane-but-for-the-time-being-i'm-going-to-use-it-as-such lane.
well hellllllll no. if there is one thing i have become since moving to la, it is Queen Bitch on the road. driving in la sucks, and we are all going to suffer. there is no cheating allowed [except sometimes. when i really need to.].
so, i did what any confident, law-abiding citizen driving a beat up '92 saab would do. i did not let him in. i stayed on the bumper of the car in front of me while mr. audio laid on his horn. because i was obviously at fault.
i stared straight ahead while he zipped around back of me and pulled up to my driver's side window. i had turned to my right to say something to kasha when i noticed that he had stopped his car when it was even with mine, despite all of the room in front of him.
"ALSKDJFAKLSDJFLKASJDKFLJASKFDJA YOU BITCH." [yelled with more fervor and passion than you might imagine]
and he sped away.
i was pretty flabbergasted, a little hurt, and then got really worried that he and his friends might shoot me.
he didn't.
and i still won't let him in next time.

little reminders of love

i never get any good blogs when i click on 'next blog.'
but today i did.

this girl is adorable and her posts make me smile my face off.

my boyfriend is [an] amazing [chef]

whenever matt cooks, i usually doubt him.
["why are you putting the raw eggs in with the potatoes??" "that hummus smells like peanut butter."]
somehow, though, his meals always come out absolutely delicious, and i've learned to stop doubting him. though it is this doubt that makes the outcome that much more amazing. so last night, i pretended to doubt him, and i was equally as surprised and amazed at his creation.
i told him i didn't want meat for dinner. and he said, ok, let's do something crazy. how about tofu tacos?
i'll admit, i wasn't 100% into the idea at first, but as soon as we got to the store and started shopping, i got a wee bit more excited.

[at this juncture, i would like to point out how fucking insulting whole foods prices are. at jons, we bought avocados, 4/$1.00. sure, they were a bit on the hard side..the really hard side..but they were 25 cents! for an avocado! woo hoo! we stopped at whole foods for the jamaican jerk sauce, and walked by the avos to see if there were any riper ones. i figured they'd be about $1.00 each. uh. they were $2.99. each. $2.99 for one avocado. are you KIDDING me. we stood there in shock, voiced our opinion ["fuck them!!"], didn't pay any mind to the woman standing right in front of the avocados, and stormed off. we talked about it for the rest of the night. and i'm sure you would have, too. 3 DOLLARS FOR A FUCKING AVOCADO ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? shut UP, WHOLE FOODS.]

ahem. anyhow. we finished our shopping, came home, cracked open some pumpkin beers, and go to work. since this was matt's deal, i just made the mango salsa and let him do the rest. i felt like i was working at the spa, when i would make cutting up the fruit for the fruit salad last me my entire 3-hour shift. i let the mango salsa easily take me an hour. in case you are wondering [mango, peeled cucumber, red onion, jalapeno [all diced], chopped cilantro, lime juice, black pepper]

while i made marathon mango salsa, matt marinated, deep-fried, and baked the tofu, fried the plantains, made an avocado/tofu/garlic/lime sauce, and made his own taco shells. i also added water to a dry horchata mix. oh, and heated up the black beans. go ME.

we sat down, dug in, and i fell in love with matt all over again [just like he said i would]. this food was amazing. i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since last night. it's 11am, but i want my left-overs lunch NOW.

anyhow. point is, my boyfriend is an amazing chef. and i think i'll keep on doubting him, because the surprise is just too good.

keep those windows down

i was driving home from work yesterday, singing in my car. i do this every time i'm in my car. sometimes i get self-conscious and tone down the volume of my voice when i'm at a stoplight, or stopped in traffic on the freeway. sometimes i'll roll up the windows if i'm at a particularly impassioned point in the song. i was feeling that way yesterday, as i was stop-and-go-ing up the 101, until i noticed the woman in front of me. she was in a sebring convertible, not only singing, but rocking her head back and forth and doing stuff with her hands. she was basically dancing. in her seat. for everyone to see. i noticed the guy in the white van in the lane next to me look over at her and smile to himself. it was at this point that i decided to keep the windows down [i was sweating, after all] and continue singing so that everyone could hear me. if they don't want to hear me, THEY can roll up their windows.

i then thought about driving in la and how much i hate it, but that while 9 times out of 10 i despise the drivers next to, in front of, and behind me for no other reason except that they are congesting my roadway, every once in awhile i find a diamond in the rough [and it is rough].

the proximity in which we drive here in this city is remarkable. there are often times for comments through the window, sometimes entire conversations, before you both "speed" away. and this, i like.

just a few weeks ago i was at a stoplight, singing, when i noticed the guy in the truck next to me try to say something. i turned my music down, rolled my window down the rest of the day and yelled, "what?" he said he noticed the "i love new york" sticker on the back of my car and wanted to tell me about the "best" pizza he'd ever had in new york and asked if i'd ever been there ["it's on ? and ? ave"]. "no, i haven't! but it sounds delicious!" i shouted back, before the light turned green and we were on our way.

another time, i was on my bike, stopped at a stoplight. i sneezed. the guy in the car next to me said 'God bless you' and we exchanged "have a good day"s as the light turned green.

yet another time, chris and i were driving to pick up chinese food when the car next to us asked us for directions. we caught up with them at every subsequent traffic light down the road and chatted the entire way down laurel canyon. we almost asked if they wanted to come hang out with us.

on my way home from work one day last year, i was singing "good day sunshine" at the top of my lungs. coming off the freeway ramp, i noticed the guy in the pick up truck next to me look over at me and smile to himself. i kept singing.

anyway, you get it.
sometimes driving in la can be fun and exciting. you never know who you'll meet, or who is listening to you sing.
so keep singing.
it might be somebody's favorite song.

lose big

the biggest loser premiered last night.
i'm watching it on itunes now.
i love this show. i remember when it first started, 8 seasons ago, i was sitting in my parents' bedroom and saw a commercial for it. "they have a show about losing weight?? what??" i was blown away and horrified. reality tv was really starting to kick in.
when i got home from london a year and a half ago, i had no job, i had no school, i had nothing to do. so i watched a season with my parents, got horribly addicted, and am now a huge fan. some people think it's a little over the top, a show with immensely obese people exercising and getting kicked off, one by one, a la survivor [and i understand that this is a qualm of some - if this show is really trying to help people, why are they getting kicked off at all?]..but more often than not, even when these people get 'kicked off' the show, they have been so inspired and given so much hope even from just a few weeks at this facility, that they finish the job at home. it may take them longer, yes, and it may require a whole lot more perseverance and focus and self-control, yes, but they do it. and the prospect of getting kicked off gives those still left at the ranch that much more to work for. they don't want to go home. they don't want to have to do it on their own. so they work even harder. i struggled with the elimination concept at first, but know that there must be a reason for it.
anyway. i'm rambling.
point is, these people are amazing. and watching their journeys is inspiring.
and that is just what i'm going to do.

and then i'm going to go to the gym.

kiwi of my eye

i am eating a kiwi for the first time in a long time.
that's a lie. i ate one yesterday and the day before.
but since this week, i cannot remember the last time i had a kiwi.
my mom used to get them for me and i remember sitting at the kitchen table scooping out the middle white part first and then eating the green goo, enjoying the crunch of the seeds.
times have not changed.

folgers in your cup

the best part of getting in a fight is making up.

i am hormonal

as fuck.

ghost.

just watched it.

shut up.

sometimes i keep talking when i know i should stop.
or say things i know i shouldn't say.
but i know that if i keep them inside of me they'll bottle up and i won't be able to function.
so i say them.
and then wish i hadn't.
and then say other things to try to make the first thing i said seem like less of a big deal.
what?
ugh.
shut UP, jessica.

rock. me. beatles.

we got beatles rock band.
9.9.9 was the most fantastic of days. mainly because of this.
we fulfilled our respective evening duties and all reconvened around 11pm for what was sure to be the best evening of our young adult lives.
it was.
after raiding dt's apt and bringing his ps3 downstairs, we hooked it up, took a deep breath, and slowly pushed the disc into the console.
what happened next can only be described as magical.
as the opening images and music popped up, no one could take their eyes away from the screen. chris and i sat wide-eyed directly in front of the 50-inch plasma television, huge smiles on our faces.
this was it.
we played for hours, our guests arriving in ones and twos, taking their turn at guitar or bass or drums or the coveted vocals. who cares who had the mic in their hand, the whole room was singing.
what joy!
we made it through about half of the game, taking time to enjoy in silence the rare photos and videos we had unlocked through our expertise.
we finished the second half last night. 45 songs in all. now we've just gotta perfect our instruments.
before everyone else was home last night, i played guitar and sang at the same time, the microphone stuck in between my knees. uncomfortable, yes, but a completely wonderful experience. i need a mic stand.
last night was a 6 hour marathon, with time for dinner and a 5-minute break when we needed a second to recover from I Want You (She's So Heavy).
now i'm at work. jonesin hard for some rock band. i can't wait to go home.
in the meantime, Abbey Road remastered will have to hold me over.

labor pains

there were no pains to be found this labor day weekend.
i had a wonderfully relaxing 4-day weekend, after working my butt off all week.
it was well-deserved, i believe.

friday was spent at the beach with matt, where i began the slow recovery of my ocean complex.
i have always loved the ocean. i'd be the first one to run in and jump in the waves. until last year. on two separate occasions, at el matador beach in malibu, i got SLAMMED by big huge waves. waves that take you down under, flip you around, and drag you across the sand. each time i eventually came up, scared stiff and ran to my towel. i was done for the day. but the first time it happened i decided to try again. the second time? no dice. i haven't been swimming in the pacific ocean in almost a year. i'll sit on the beach and as i see the waves come up, my stomach gets all in knots and i get incredibly anxious. it's been a bummer. so on friday, i decided to try again. the waves were small, and i stayed in for a couple of minutes before i started getting anxious and uncomfortable. but now i know that i can do it. even if only for a few minutes. and i'll be back. i won't give up!

on saturday matt and i spent the day getting ready for our camping trip the next day. tim came with us to r.e.i, where i finally bought myself a hat for the sun. then we went to arby's. i felt like i was 12. it was wonderfully bad idea. we rushed home and rushed out to the orpheum to see the avett brothers. matt had never seen them and i was real excited to introduce him to this favorite music of mine that he has never experienced. we took the metro downtown and walked through 4 blocks of ghetto before we reached the comfort of the orpheum's lights. the theater is absolutely beautiful, and the show was incredible. 2nd row, center, thank you very much. matt said it was 1000% times better than he had thought it was going to be. you can't go to one of their shows and not enjoy. i thoroughly suggest, no, ORDER you to go if they ever come in the near vicinity. unbelievable.



we got to bed a little after 2am on saturday night and got out of bed less than 4 hours later to drive up to the mountains. after driving for about 15 minutes we realized we forgot the chicken wire to put around the car [to keep out the marmots] so we had to turn around and go back. ugh were we tired. it was a brutal 4 1/2 hours in the car, trying to stay awake. but we got there. we got our wilderness permit to go up to eagle lake [one of our favorites.]. we found a parking spot. and we cruised up the mountain. last time i had a fairly horrible experience [not in shape, hiking too far, high altitude, 30 lbs on my back..] and this time the difference was incredible. i'd been going to the gym regularly for the past month, and i couldn't believe how much my fitness had improved. we cruised up that mountain in 2 1/2 hours. and not once did i cry, throw up, or even pout. it was great. we met some nice women on the way up, and a kid named adam who finished up the trail with us. matt and i found a nice place to pitch our tent right above the water, and after dumping our bags to claim our space, we jumped into the lake. water was real chilly, but incredibly refreshing, and such a wonderful, natural way to bathe. soon after, we made dinner [jamaican chicken and rice and peas. MMM.], did a crossword, and got to bed real early [just a little after 8!].



i slept horribly. i kept waking up. i think because a. my pillow hadn't fluffed up enough before i tried sleeping on it and b. it was SO quiet. b may not make as much sense..but it was deafeningly silent, and every time i woke up it was hard to fall back asleep. we spent 12 hours in that tent, waking up a little after 8am. we took our time waking up, getting ready, snacking, changing, and then headed up a nearby ridgeline to check out the view. it was beautiful. and sunny. we both got burned [though it's pretty inevitable when you're at 10,000 ft.].

after the ridge we climbed back down, brought some gear out to the lake, and waded across to a rock, where we had a delicious lunch of pasta primavera [i love mountain house dehydrated food], swam a bit more [matt swam, i jumped in and out], and napped on the rock.



after our nap we had to start packing up our gear and head down the mountain. it's so hard to leave this place. we left our campsite at 5:15 but didn't leave the lake until 5:45 because we were too busy lollygagging and taking pictures, trying to prolong our stay. but we had to get down so we could make it to the restaurant at the bottom of the trail.



we BOOKED it down the mountain [hour and a half] and now my legs are paying for it. but we made it to silver city, the little cabin town with a small restaurant/general store. this has become our post-hike tradition. it's so delicious. and so cozy. i never want to leave.
we finished our meal, got some pie and hot chocolate, went outside to look at the stars, and headed down the mountain. i hate leaving. it is the most beautiful place in the world.

what a wonderful, wonderful weekend.

[sorry this was so long.]

zzzzzz

i am so tired.
i would like to go to sleep. now.
but i am still at work.
and after work i have to go to ikea. for work.
[perhaps i will put it off for one more day..]
and then i have to go to the gym.
and make dinner.
and shower.
and socialize with my friends.
and then it's going to be late.
and i'm going to be tired again tomorrow.
at work.

chilaquiles

you should eat these.



if you have never heard of chilaquiles, just know that it is a mexican dish, often served for breakfast [though you can top it with anything and eat it anytime]

Ingredients:
-1 dozen corn tortillas [preferably stale - so if they're fresh, throw them in the oven for a few minutes to dry them out], quartered or cut into a pizza pie, depending on the size of your tortillas
-corn oil
-salt [sea salt is best]
-2 cups salsa [there are homemade recipes you can use - either red chile sauce or salsa verde if you actually have the time. me, i just used El Pinto salsa! much easier for a sunday morning impromptu brunch]
-5-6 eggs, scrambled
-1 can of black beans
-cheese of some sort [i used cheddah, you may prefer to use a legit mexican cheese product ie. cotija cheese or queso fresco]
-sour cream [if you are unlike me and like it]
-cilantro
-chopped red onion
-avocado

ok. so. here's what you do.

-generously coat a large saute pan with the corn oil [about 1/8 inch] and heat on medium-high heat. when the oil's nice and hot, add your cut tortillas and fry until they are golden brown. remove your newly formed chips and place them on a paper towel-lined plate, so as to soak up all that oil. sprinkle a bit of salt on the tortillas.

-leave about 2 Tbsp of oil in the pan [or clean the pan out and start fresh..but this is all ending up in the same place, so may as well recycle] and add the salsa, letting it cook for several minutes. once your salsa is looking nice and cooked up, add your chips. gently turn over the tortilla pieces until they are fully coated in the salsa. let em cook for a few minutes more [chips will be a bit on the soggy side].

-remove from heat and add your scrambled eggs, your beans, and the rest of your garnishes.

this recipe is good for 3 hefty servings. MMMMM!!!

cash for clunkers? more like eff you.

To Whom It May Concern:

I have owned my 1992 Saab 900 for seven years now. I saw it for sale on the side of the road and knew instantly that it was to be my car. I loved it so much, the woman who sold it to me gave it to me for dirt cheap – she just wanted it to go to a good home. And that it did. My 239,000 mile car has taken me up and down the east coast, to and from college, to concerts, and on road trips. Most recently it has made its way from New York to California, where I currently reside.

Now, I love my car. Ever since I walked into the bank at 17 years old and took out my entire savings to purchase this vehicle, I’ve dreaded the day that I would have to part ways and move on. And as I’ve gotten a bit older, I am still no less attached to my car, but I have come to realize the practicality of my situation…

My car is 17 years old.
My car gets 15 miles to the gallon IF I’m lucky.
My car leaks 2 quarts of oil every other week.
My car only has one cooling fan left.
My car has never had working air conditioning.
My car’s brake pedal will stick if you do not pull up on the pedal with your foot before exiting the car.
My car’s battery will die if you have forgotten to pull said brake pedal up.
My car’s automatic antenna has not come up in years. And my tape deck has just recently stopped working.
My car will not pass California’s smog test.
My car’s exhaust system has dropped out onto the road while driving. Twice.

My car is NOT eligible for the Cash For Clunkers program.

Please, will somebody explain to me WHY this is the case? Can we look at the title of said program for a moment, here? If my car is not a CLUNKER, then please, pray tell, what is?
Ohh, you say a clunker is a 2004 Mazda-RX. I see.
[pause for you to re-read what I just wrote]

Now, putting aside the mere fact that I think that my year, make, and model of car is beyond eligible for this program of yours, can I tell you what is really making me tick? Do you want to know the one thing that is getting real deep down in there and just grinding my gears? It is this: the fact that one day, just about three weeks ago, my car WAS eligible. 18 mpg, baby. And then, as soon as I decided that with this financial help, I might finally be able to take a step towards helping myself [and let’s not forget my environment], somebody [coughEPAcough] decided that the original fuel economy ratings for the vehicles were not accurate. Uh, “the original fuel economy ratings were not accurate”…right, that’s what I said. Anyway, somebody decided that the numbers that have been up on the fuel economy website, that people have been using to determine their eligibility, were going to change.

Flash-forward to the day the program officially commenced: July 24, 2009. Combined Estimated New EPA MPG: 19 mpg

"EPA changed the way it calculated fuel economy ratings starting in Model Year 2008, and has estimated the revised ratings for Model Years 1985-2007. Therefore, as described above, eligibility is determined by the revised ratings rather than the original EPA sticker on the vehicle. Since the revised ratings reflect a lower fuel economy, vehicles that would not be eligible under their original EPA rating may qualify for trade-in." [pg. 33 of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's Final Rule of their Requirements and Procedures for Consumer Assistance to Recycle and Save Program]

Uh, say that again? Vehicles that would not be eligible under their original EPA rating may qualify for trade-in? What about the cars that WERE eligible and now are NOT? Where is your defense for that??

This is absurd. I am absolutely fuming. I no longer understand what this program stands for. I knew a big chunk of this was to boost the economy, but I really really wanted to think that this program was created, at least in part, to help out the average American like myself who honest to goodness owns one heck of a clunker. Forget your silly “to the 4th decimal” revised ratings. And your 25-year age restriction. This program is NOT what it was supposed to be for a LOT of people. I came into 2009 with a whole lot of hope, and what some may even call respect for “you people.” Now, however, I see things as they are: not fair.

Sincerely,

Jessica Neilson

when a mouse eats a cookie

last night i was up in matt's room when i heard chris yelling at my cat to come downstairs. apparently she had "dropped it at the top of the stairs." i opened the door to see what "it" was, but before i could get there, a small mouse darted in through the crack in the door and scurried into the closet. the closet FILLED with stuff. the closet that acts as a depository when we try to clean the room in a hurry. awesome.

chris came bounding up the stairs with a flashlight, and we found the little critter under the shoe rack.



after setting eyes on this tiny creature shivering in fear, i decided i must have it as a pet. i quickly snapped back into it and realized that could not happen. i then tried my hand at capturing the little fellow, but as you can see,



he was so intent on NOT being caught, that my efforts proved fruitless [i have never seen a mouse hide like this].

so instead, i spent the next hour creating a trap for this tiny mouse so that he could not go far, and so that matt could help me when he got home. i spent until 2am creating barriers and traps made of towels, sheets, trader joes bags, magic hat boxes, and priority mail flat rate boxes. after an hour, i was sweating and about to fall asleep. i did not want the mouse leaving the closet, though, so i propped myself up on some sleeping bags and sheets [that i had cleared out of said closet] and kept watch. i felt like a prison guard. except not.

i tried real hard, but matt walked in the door sometime after 2 to find me sprawled out on the floor, flashlight still on, eyes closed. lucky for me, my immaculate barricade had worked, and mr. mouse had not gone far. matt and i spent a bit more time chasing him back and forth behind various pieces of furniture, until the mouse made a dash for it. he leaped over my fortress and started to run around the closet. i took this opportunity to run out myself and slam the door behind me, leaving matt, his snowboarding glove, and the mouse to fight it out.

i heard some rustling, some laughter, some "he's in my wallet!" and before i knew it, matt emerged, victorious, the tiny rodent quivering in the towel he was holding. we brought him on down the road and let him go under a street light, where he scurried away, hopefully safe and sound, to his little mouse family.

isabella

i like the name isabella.

i also like it when it comes as a pizza. with mozzarella, pears, onions, and gorgonzola.

la buca for lunch.

also, i tried truffle for the first time.

[who knew that specially trained female pigs are used to seek out truffles because the fungi give off the same scent as sexy boar saliva?]

thanks, magic.

i am starting week 3 of my gymming.
i have never enjoyed working out.
never.
but i can't get enough of this place. it's like a playground.
where else can you do your body good AND watch jeopardy???
i suppose in your living room..but i don't have that kind of self-control.

i joined 24 hour fitness because they were having a killer promotional deal at the end of july.
i just did it, and i started going, and i haven't really stopped to think about it all quite yet. and that's fine with me. i think it's actually starting to become a habit [what do they say? do something for 2 weeks and it becomes habitual?]. i find myself mid-day craving the gym, and this excites me!

i also like 24 hour fitness because they sponsor The Biggest Loser, and i have a secret [no, not secret] obsession with that show. i've been going to the gym in sherman oaks. one of the 'Magic Johnson signature clubs.' whatever the fuck that means. i think that just means there are huge ass pictures of him ALL over the place. anyway. sherman oaks can be kind of hoity toity, and this particular gym is located at the outdoor galleria [which has like, 3 retail stores and 356 restaurants], so i was a bit intimidated the first time i stepped through the doors. big-breasted women and immaculately toned men make up the majority of this club's population. but how wrong i was to assume i would be laughed at and looked down upon, in my $1 jetrag shorts and my 7 year old gray new balances. everyone has been beyond friendly and helpful and all around pleasant. someone is always holding the door, or saying 'thank you' when said door has been held for them. everyone keeps to themselves [except for the guy that asked me how much longer i'd be on one of the weight machines. screw you. wait your turn.], and there is rarely a wait for the cardio machines, as there are about 29482395 of them.

i'm feeling really great about doing this for myself. i would always say 'i don't have time' or 'i can't afford it.' but the truth is, i've been making time. and i found a couple of extra dollars. i just never had any motivation to get up and do it. and i still don't quite know what it was that got me off my butt [mm, it just may have been gwen stefani's abs...] but whatever it was, THANK YOU!

i love the gym.
and i especially love starting every work out with the song below.

mariahhhh.

and this one.

i'm really getting back to my mid to late 90s lady roots.

Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby
Uploaded by mario_cam. - More video blogs and vloggers.

i'm real.

i forgot how much i loved this song.

04 - Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule - I'm Real
Uploaded by Miamoto_Namikaze. - Explore more music videos.

happy we-landed-on-the-moon-40-years-ago day

i don't know what i would have used for a rocket if a music library hadn't sent a usb disguised as a bullet.

i did it

there were 100 cds on my desk this morning.
over the past few weeks i had let them pile up to an absurd extent.
today was the first day i had [almost] nothing else to do, and i came into the office determined.
determined to listen to and organize the shit out of this music.
and i did.

my girl

i wish some of my lady friends were closer [geographically] to me than they are.
most are in new york. or massachusetts. or new jersey.
closest one is in washington, still a 17 hour drive away.

and while gchat and facebook make it relatively easy to stay in touch, it's not like having one right down the road, or better yet, right across the hall.

just last night, after getting in a little tiff with matt, he suggested i talk to a girlfriend of mine, to get her perspective [at least somebody knows what i need..] so this morning [thank you, gchat] i did. and she told me that i was crazy.

every so often [more often than you may think] i find myself getting nostalgic for my girl time. i have a wonderful life out in california. a wonderful job. a wonderful boyfriend. wonderful friends. [two] wonderful homes :) but there's something missing. and try as i might, i just haven't been able to forge the same female-female relationships i had back at home, back at school. and i miss them.

i can't call kristina and meet her at the white rabbit after dinner and munch on vegan nut bars over a discussion about how drastically our lives have changed over the past few years. or drive to maria's and have just a little bit too much to drink and crash on the basement floor with my head undoubtedly in another friend's feet. or go to nina's to sit in her 2nd bedroom and watch trash tv all the while answering her next inevitable question about my sex life. or run down to holly's room and jump on her bed with some stupid development in my life that only she would get THAT excited about. or sit around with kasha, drink wine, and gossip about the music department until we decide we're bored and we should probably get in the car and drive to vermont.

these are the things i miss.

i miss kristina being the only person i can truly talk to about ANYTHING. i don't know if she knows that.
i miss maria being just a little too perfect and me [ME!] feeling like the "bad" girl when i'm around her [ME!!!].
i miss nina yelling at her parents in chinese while i'm on the line and i miss that the first thing she ever wants to talk about is sex.
i miss holly being as sweet as a friend can be and sometimes pissing me off just because she's so goddamn chipper.
i miss kasha getting me into trouble and knowing that whenever i'm with her something unexpected and truly memorable is bound to happen.

though, i suppose these things haven't changed. they're just not as conveniently located as they used to be. but these people and these attributes are still there. and when i need them, i know where to find them.

we're gonna rock the night away

michael jackson is dead.

and i am not OK.

grey in la

Grey In L.A. - Loudon Wainwright III

day of decision? how about day of dumb.

yesterday was the big day.
the day that the california supreme court decided what to do about prop 8.

not only were they to decide whether or not to uphold the november 4, 2008 passing of this ridiculous-to-begin-with proposition, but they were also to announce what was to happen with the 18,000 same-sex couples who had been married between may 2008 [when the high courts deemed marriage legal] and november 2008 [when we took their rights away]. the fact that they even had to debate on what was to happen to these couples was shocking to me. really? there's a CHANCE [however slim] that you could actually take these rights away from people after YOU were the ones that gave them to them in the first place? and forget who gave who any rights - just the fact that someone, anyone, would even consider reVOKING them?? that's like saying "hey jess, i know we said you could own that property. but...we've changed our mind. the general public has spoken and, frankly, doesn't want you to have that land anymore, so..well, sorry..if you don't mind we'll just take that riiiiight back, yep, there we go.. greeeat, thanks. peace!"

anyhow, i don't need to go on TOO much of a rant there, because the court did vote unanimously to keep these marriages legal.
good.

unfortunately, however, the court did decide 6-1 in favor of upholding the prop 8 decision (<--- great latimes article that may explain things a bit clearer than i) made in november. the decision was made based on the fact that the prop was put on the ballot in november as a "limited amendment" to the constitution and not a "wholesale revision," which would have required 2/3 vote from the legislature before being placed in the public's hands.

what is scary is that the court defines "an illegal revision as a measure that changes the structure of government, not one that takes away individual rights." soooo...does that mean that if i wanted to take away a gay person's right to go to the beach..or a latino person's right to drive...or a female's right to hold any job she is qualified to hold...i could? i've just gotta get it on the ballot and make sure people vote? because, like you said, taking away any of those rights wouldn't affect the structure of california's government. therefore, those would not be improper revisions.
hmmm....
dangerous words, court. dangerous words.

"For the court to see only structural changes as those requiring a greater majority is perhaps the worst feature of the opinion today," said Pepperdine University law professor Douglas W. Kmiec, who voted for Proposition 8 on religious grounds. "It makes it much too casual for individual rights to be withdrawn." (latimes)

in my experience out here in california so far, one thing has become clear: you cannot let the public vote on social progress. you just can't. people are too set in their ways, too scared, to let social change happen by their own punch of the ballot card.
what do you think would have happened if, back in 1954, the matter of desegregating schools had been put to a public vote?
i mean really.
what do you really think would have happened?

vaca. now?

i need a vacation.

you know you need a vacation when your job consists of sitting at a desk listening to music, and you need a break from that. i have probably the best job ever. but i literally can't listen to anymore music. everything sounds the same. norah jones? persian rap? same shit.
i need a week in the woods.

maybe it's just because i had a really great long weekend and i'm still stuck in relaxation mode.
or maybe it's because it's wednesday and wednesdays just kind of suck.
or maybe it's because i have my period.
or maybe it's because i'm beyond exhausted.
or maybe it's because my ear hurts.
who knows.
what i do know, is that i've peed at least a dozen times today. i can't stop. ok, maybe not a dozen. prolly more like eight. eight times. nah, nine. i'm trying to drink more water, but when i do this, i am rendered incapable of performing any activity without taking a bathroom break at least every 30-45 minutes. ugh. there better not be any traffic on the way home.

ha.
who am i kidding.

epic fail.

i ate.
after 22 hours.
i couldn't do it.
i didn't WANT to do it anymore.
i realized that what i was doing wasn't worth what i was trying to achieve. i have decided that what i really want is a cleaner, healthier body, and that i can achieve just that by eating healthy and being more active, which is what i plan to do. so if nothing else..this silly 22-hour liquid nast diet cleared all that fuzz from my brain.
fuck fasting. UGH.

i was fine until i got home from work and sat down to watch the bachelorette, during which, every 2 out of 3 commercials were for the olive garden. at this point i had already downed [and threw up] way too much salt water in an attempt to flush out my system. having to stand in the bathroom and drink even more of this shit was so disgusting and ridiculous that even though i was able to keep the 2nd batch down, i was in no way excited about it. at the very least i thought i'd get a good flush and be able to make it through the night. but nothing happened! i sat there all night and nothing happened. i just felt GROSS. i called matt to complain about how i was feeling and he told me to eat.

so i went to the grocery store and bought a bag of granola, strawberries, bananas and almond milk, brought it over to hermitage and had the best bowl of cereal of my life.

take that, stanley burroughs.


the master cleanse, jessica style. much better.

eat me

recipe for delicious veggie lasagna with tomato sauce and chard [or spinach!]:

i've made this a few times and every time i eat it all way too quickly. it is SO tasty. i've always made it with chard, as in the original recipe [thanks, nytimes] but on saturday i used spinach instead because i had SO MUCH in my garden and this was the best way to use it up. they are both DELISH [swiss chard is probably a bit cheaper]
anyhow. with that said...

-1 generous bunch of swiss chard [or spinach] - whichever you choose to use, make sure you have about 1.5 lbs of it. this shit cooks down like no other.

-salt

-1/2 lb lasagna noodles [regular or no-boil]

-2 T plus 1 t extra virgin olive oil

-2 large garlic cloves, minced or pressed

-2 pounds fresh tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and diced, OR one 28 oz. can of chopped tomatoes with the juice [this saves some time and money and is just as tasty]

-pinch of sugar!

-1 large basil spring [fresh is best, though when i'm in a pinch, i've sprinkled a bit of dried basil flakes]

-freshly ground pepper

-1/2 c. fresh ricotta cheese [kristina, you can find a substitute, i'm sure :)]

-1/2 c. freshly grated parmesan [or more, if you're like me]

1. Bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil while you prepare the greens. Tear the leaves from the stems and wash thoroughly. Discard the stems [or do with them what you will]. Prepare a big bowl of ice water.

2. When the water comes to a boil, add the greens. Boil 1-2 minutes [from the time the water comes BACK to a boil] until tender, but still bright green. Remove from the water with a slotted spoon and transfer to your ice water. Drain and squeeze out excess water. Chop coarsely and set aside. Now boil your lasagna noodles in the same water [unless using no-boil!], adding a bit more water if necessary. Remove the pasta from the pot and toss with 1 t of olive oil in a bowl.

3. While noodles are boiling, heat 1 T of olive oil over medium heat in a wide, nonstick frying pan. Add the garlic. Cook, stirring until it smells tasty - about a minute. Add the tomatoes, sugar, basil, and salt [begin with 1/2 t and adjust for taste later - i can tell you now you will probably need a bit more than this]. Bring this mixture to a simmer. Let it simmer, stirring often, until it has thickened, 15-20 minutes, depending on the amount of juice in the pan. Taste and adjust seasonings. Remove the basil sprig. Stir in the greens and remove from the heat.

4. Preheat the oven to 375. Oil your baking dish and line the bottom with a layer of noodles. Spread half the ricotta over the noodles followed by half the tomato/green sauce. Sprinkle on some parmesan. Add another layer of noodles and top with the remaining ricotta and the remainder of the sauce. More parm. Finish up with your last layer of noodles and MORE PARMESAN! drizzle the remaining olive oil [about a T] over the top. Cover the dish tightly with foil. Bake 30 minutes, or until bubbling and the pasta is tender.

5. Take out, let cool [for a hot sec], and EAT. MMMMMMMMMMMM.


what i wish mine looked like.

mr. clean

i am master cleansing.
yes, i am drinking the lemonade.
the lemonade that crazy people drink.
with syrup and cayenne pepper.
perhaps i am crazy.

this cleanse is recommended for 10 days.
there is no way in hell this girl can last that long without food [how can that even be good for you?], so my goal is to get through friday. that would be 5 days. we will see.
really, i just want to beat william [who tried it last year and made it 13 hours].

anyhow - i consider myself to be a faaaairly healthy person..i try to eat my fruits and veggies, and i don't pig out on fast food ALL the time...but for every salad and grapefruit that i eat, i make sure to supplement it with a burger from Habit or animal fries from in 'n out. i can't help it. and i don't want these delicacies to disappear from my diet forever! i just need to feel what it's like to not eat them for awhile..to not WANT them for a while..and i'm hoping that this cleanse will give me a fresh start. my idea is that after i clean out my body, i'm going to want to keep filling it with goodness, and to stay away from the burgers and the beers and the fries [at least more than i do now]. don't get me wrong, i LOVE my food. LOVE. LOVE. food. and i don't plan on sacrificing all of my favorite foods. there's something real special about diving into a big juicy burger from habit, with grilled onions and pickles... i just want to learn to eat them in moderation. and i want to start exercising. basically i just want to give my insides a fresh start. i'm at a really great place mentally right now and i want to feel the same way about my internal physicality.
so for all of my vital organs - this is for you. [i hope.]

[iunderstandthiscleanseismostlikelyaloadofhippiebullshit]

update 3pm: text conversation between matt and i

m: wanna get habit tonight?
m: oh wait....nevermind
j: ..i hate you.
j: evil, evil boyfriend.
m: luv you
m: :)
j: yeahhhhh yeah. whatever. jerk.
j: you'd better watch it. i've got shit to do today and can spend allllll day plotting my revenge.

...and i will.

happy birthday, matt! [blowguns are illegal in california]

my boyfriend's birthday was on sunday.
this was also mother's day.
mom got flowers.
matt got speaker stands and a blowgun.



after sleeping in [matt got the day off!] we did presents, watered the garden, and lazed about. dt and erica made us tasty tasty breakfast sandwiches and we sat outside on the back patio and devoured them. the boys went inside and played with the blowgun while e and i hung out back until the gun made its way outside. we had our fun and then realized that it was already 3 and we had to get to the beach. matt and i went to el matador up in malibu. once we got to the water it was mighty chilly, so we laid around doing crosswords and then took a walk through the caves and down past the fancy shmance malibu beach homes.

we stopped at trader joe's on the way home to do our shopping for the week. it's so cheap. and so good. we got home, showered, grabbed tim and katya, and went to indian for din din.

heart of india cafe is the best place around. their mint chicken tikka is divine, and it's the only place i can find one of my favorite beers - yeti. mmmm. the only concern i have with the place is that it is NEVER busy. if there are 2 other parties when we're there, that's a good night. i'm worried it will go out of business. that scares me. what will we do without sunny and sehti??
so we eat there. all the time. i mean, if we don't go, they could go under! [or so we tell ourselves..this is how we justify going there wayyyy too often] dinner was good except that they started putting CHERRY PASTE STUFF in their kabuli naan! wtf, heart of india?? that shit was NASTY. it tasted like naan filled with medicine. i thought our server fucked up [he's new. andd...weird.] but when i asked sunny, he said they just started doing that. ew. next time. kabuli naan sans cherry shit.

i saabed us home and we had surprise birthday cake. tim picked up a delicious chocolate raspberry cake earlier in the evening. i had plans to bake a cake, but then matt got the day off. YAY! after cake everyone went outside and blowgunned for a bit. i hit the beer can. then all of the food i had eaten finally hit my stomach and i went into sleep mode. crossword to fall asleep, and the day was over.

what a lovely, lovely day.


the blowgun is probably one of the cooler things i've ever gotten for anyone.

dt and erica agree.

avett salvation [and other things. but not much.]

what a GREAT WEEKEND!

friday i went over and saw the avett brothers at paramount. they played an acoustic set for about 25 people. paramount served milk and cookies. i felt like i was in my living room. my living room in heaven.
after the show, i spoke to the brothers avett and asked if they remembered chris and faith [garden st. cafe] - they remembered them well, and even remembered the name of The Black Swan, where they played a show in 2005. HOW did they remember that? even I sometimes forget the name of that bar. they talked about how much they enjoyed that show and that they'll never forget it.
...clearly.
after being a grade-A nerd [that's what nerds do, right? get grade A's? ...bad joke, bad joke...reaalll bad joke. ugh i'm sorry.] and posing for a photo and getting my poster signed [what? you got a problem?] i floated back to work. i finished up the day, went home to work on matt's gift, aaaand....i think that's it? i don't remember. i bet i'm going to end up like my mom and not remember what i did 5 minutes ago.

saturday was a gorgeous day. i worked on matt's gift [which were SPEAKER STANDS. I CAN SAY IT NOW BECAUSE HIS BIRTHDAY HAS ALREADY COME] allllll day. dt and erica helped me a boatload. i thought i was going to need their help for a half hour just holding some pieces together for me while i did the assembly. boy was i wrong.

3 hours later we were finally finishing up. rather, dt was finishing up. he was kind and let me drill some of the wood together, but i fucked up. twice. ugh. seriously, everything that could have gone wrong with these things during the process, did. the wood was not cut at the measurements i wanted, the first coat of stain dried weird, a bug dried in the paint on one of the pipes, i didn't have the right size drill bit, the screws i bought were too long and kept breaking, i had tim drill the initial holes in the wrong spot, the sand paper i had was too gritty and left scratches, the store didn't have really fine sand paper...i could go on. but that's what makes them so special..right? labor of love. labor of love.



as soon as these were finished, i ran around to get ready to see THE AVETTS with danny. we trained it to hollywood & vine and got in line. we walked in and scooched in front of a group of too-cool-for-school kids sitting on the floor in front of the stage. the opening band [magnolia electric] played...boooooring. i thought i was going to like them, until i realized that their 40 minute set may as well have been one really long song. and really, guys, don't smile. no need. your performance isn't affected at all by any emotion you may see fit to portray. at this point there was just one girl between me and the barrier up front, and i didn't want to look at her curly hair anymore. i asked danny how much money he thought it would take for the tall guy next to her to let me stand in front of him. after standing there for a good 45 seconds, rocking back and forth, mouth twisted in contemplation, i thought maybe i would ask mr. red shirt what the chances were of me standing in front of him. but danny got to it first.
"hey man, i have a huge favor to ask...would you mind if she stood in front of you?"
"ohh not at all! go for it! blah blah blah"
thank yous and hugs ensued.
as did utter disbelief at my location.
first row.
dead center.
are you kidding me?
the 4 friends around us were real great, and we struck up conversation while waiting for the show to commence. they'd seen them 8 times [native north carolinians] so thankfully it was no skin off their back to let me scoot up front.
the show started and i couldn't stop smiling. in the song 'salina' they mention poughkeepsie. it's real quiet, just scott singing a line about ptown, and as soon as he said it, i yelled at the top of my lungs, "YEAH POUGHKEEPSIE!!!!!!" like a grade-A [F?] moron. they all looked down at me and laughed. seriously, who the fuck from LA is from poughkeepsie? if they hadn't recognized me before, they definitely knew i was there after that outburst. heaven. the show ended way too soon. i could've listened to them all night long. they were unbelievable. the show was life changing for danny, and i'm glad.

i would have been more than content with my location behind miss curly, but being where i was really made the night special. i was the girl that i always wish i was when i go to shows. and i caught scott's bandana at the end. matt thinks it's gross. i think it's beautiful.

beautiful day

i reckon yesterday was gosh darn close to perfect.

i woke up a wee bit late and laid in bed talking to matt for awhile before i ended up actually leaving the house. i fed the hungry cats and watered the garden [which is doing wonderfully, i might add] and hopped in my hot-ass car.

i listened to my bicycle mix on my way to work, which put me in a superb mood, since the songs in that mix are nothing but 'smile and be happy' songs.

for lunch yesterday i drove over to larchmont. finding a parking spot is always near impossible, but i found one...and it was free... ok, so it was blockbuster's customer parking only..but i was only a second! i ran across the street to my favorite bagel joint, sam's bagels, and ordered a hummus sandwich on a toasted everything bagel. it was perfect. i also realized i still had money on my starbucks card and so after being cornered by a canvassing man on the street and telling him that "i'm sorry, i support amnesty international, but i cannot give you a monthly donation, no way no how" i ordered myself an iced mocha. perfect lunch.

soon after i ate, john came into the office and told me that they were doing birthday cake in the main building at 4. each month peermusic does cake and ice cream for all the birthdays in that particular month. nobody knew it was my birthday [i don't work in that building, and i didn't tell anyone] but they soon found out [when i said to them "hey..it's my birthday, too.."], and everyone sang to me. the cake was so yummy and it was nice to take a little break with everyone.

i came back to my office, stuffed with treats, and finished up a bit of work. a little before 6, i got a call from columbia, inviting me to an avett brothers showcase [today!!!!!]. i got off the phone, freaked out a little bit, and drove home. traffic was an absolute bitch, but i made it.

i went inside for a few minutes, bummed that my birkenstocks hadn't arrived in the mail yet, hopped on my bike, ran to Jon's for some chocolate chips, and went over to hermitage. i met tim's lady friend from the ukraine and worked on matt's birthday present for a bit. then tim told me he was making CHICKEN TACOS. i was bummed because i thought i'd miss them. i was meeting matt and feldmann and foxy at the movies and figured the tacos wouldn't be ready in time [tim is an AMAZING but very slow chef :)]. but tim and katya were hungry! so tim got on it and i had time to eat tacos!!!! I WAS SO EXCITED, THEY'RE MY FAVORITE FOOD. really. they're the reason i eat food.

i biked home after dinner to grab my car and i saw a box lying on my chair in my room. my birkenstocks!!! AHHH!! they feel like a second pair of feet. they're so comfortable. i took a few minutes walking around the house in them and then booked it to the movie theater. i got there 3 minutes before the movie started. STAR TREK. IT WAS SO GOOD. seriously. i didn't get a SINGLE inside joke in that film [all you trekkies out there, you know who you are] and i still thought it was absolutely wonderful. i was so entertained. it's 2 hours and 15 minutes of action. in space.
...can it get any better? go see it. it's dark knight status.

then matt and i came home, made some midnight mac n cheese and called it a night.

boy. what a great day.

omg omg omg

tomorrow i get to see my favorite musical act [after paul mccartney] up close and personal.

the avett brothers are playing an acoustic showcase at paramount and i was just invited.

AHHHHHHHHHHH.
WHERE IS THE AED IN THIS OFFICE. I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK.

i'm going to their show on saturday night at the fonda, and i've seen them a couple times before they were big [once at the black swan in tivoli. that was magical], but tomorrow is going to be GREAT. oh my god.

i gg. i'm about to shit my pants.




i love you i love you i love you.

hot pockets

last night at 11pm it was 81 degrees.

take 2

after staying up until after 3am last night, there was no way i could even think about waking up early to do my abs this morning [who am i kidding..i'm never going to do this shit in the morning].

so here i am again, pilates-ing my core into shape at work. today, though, i thought ahead. i wore a dress so that i would not have to pull jeans back on over my sticky legs [i'm lying - i didn't wear a dress for this reason, but it certainly worked to my benefit]. i turned off the space heater underneath my desk, and instead, during my 30-second break, i ran out and turned the air conditioner on so i would have a nice cool haven to walk out into. i also crunched in a shadier spot of the office. and, i waited until 5pm so i would only have to sit in my sweat for one more hour rather than 6 [again, not planned. couldn't work out til boss left]. and while i still wish i had a shower room readily available, i am much more comfortable than i was on monday.

i'm getting into a pattern [albeit random] of sticking to this routine once a day, and i'm finally beginning to feel my body's reactions to these movements and notice how certain aspects of the routine become easier each day while others seem to almost become more difficult [probably because i'm finally doing them correctly]. i'm figuring out which parts of my body are being targeted and i can now tell when i'm holding my body in the wrong position and need to adjust myself one way or another. it feels good to be doing this for my body, however small an action it may be. it would be nice to lose a few pounds [damn you, in 'n out] but i really just want to feel healthier and get my body in better shape, and, well, i've gotta start somewhere. and for someone who is not prone to exercising, this is a big step in the right direction. now i've just gotta keep it up..

also, i've had 2 liters of water so far today and my pee is still yellow.

why must you steal?

Dear Hermitage Thief,

Remember sometime last fall when our beirut table went missing? I bet you do, because you stole it. Yes, you came into the driveway, rummaged through the parking spots, and found the large piece of wood leaning up against the back wall. You must have known that table was back there. No one walks into a parking area you cannot see from the road unless they are looking for something in particular. Did you watch us at our party from across the way? I can imagine you were jealous. We sure were having a good time. Why didn't you just come over and join us? No need to steal, Thief.

Those apartments next door to us are bad news, and I assume this is where you live. Why am I making this assumption? Because in January, you stole my bike, too. My bike, hidden from the road. My bike, visible only to those of you who live in that complex next door. To the couple that is constantly screaming at each other: was it you? To the guy that is obsessed with Tim's motorcycle: you seem nice, but, I suppose it could have been you? To the old woman who complains when we party but who I secretly think is adorable: I don't think it was you, but at this point, everyone is a suspect.

It is May now, and while the memories of the realization that my bike was really gone still linger, I have moved on. Matt has gotten me a new bike [which is currently securely locked up in an undisclosed location] and we've purchased a ping pong table which is now used when the urge to throw ping pong balls into cups filled with beer should strike. I've come to grips with the fact that you had taken what you were going to take and you were now going to leave us alone. I was not ready to forgive OR forget, but I was ready to move past all this and get on with my life.

Until last night.

ANOTHER BIKE?? WHILE WE WERE AT HOME?!!
Now...NOW, Thief, you have gone too far.
Why did you need another bike? Was mine not good enough for you? My dad made that bike for me, you know. So why did you have to take Liz's bike? She so generously left it for us when she moved back east. Yes, you're right, the bike did a lot of sitting around. But it was used from time to time when someone needed a bike in a jiffy. Just the other day Matt was riding it up and down the street, catapulting himself off of it after skidding to abrupt stops. See? We use it. And AGAIN, the bike was even MORE hidden than mine was! Not only was it inside our parking area, but it was up against the wall in front of the cars. It was there when Bags and DT went to the grocery store, while Tim and I were inside, and it was gone an hour later. When did you do this? And do you have the powers of a ninja? Or a cat? A ninja cat, perhaps? How did we not hear you??? And how did you know it was there??? Old lady...I've got my eye on you.

But seriously, Thief, this was uncalled for. I am completely and utterly disappointed in you, and ready to snap your neck should I ever catch you. Please, return the bike unharmed and no one will get hurt.

In the meantime, go fuck yourself.

Love,
Me

i don't remember what you sound like

throughout the course of my day at work, i listen to LOTS of music.
boat loads.
each day we get packages upon packages filled with "HOT NEW MUSIC VOL. 385" and "LISTEN TO THIS CD BECAUSE I PROMISE YOU IT'S GOING TO BE BETTER THAN ANYTHING YOU'VE LISTENED TO RECENTLY" and things of that sort.
to be completely honest with you, i couldn't tell you WHAT the fuck i listened to yesterday. i'll remember a band's name. i know that i put it into the stereo and pressed play, but God help me if you expect me to remember what that band sounded like.
why is that?
because EVERYTHING TODAY SOUNDS EXACTLY THE SAME.
MY GOD.
today there is indie music [which has, instead of being a term to describe the handful of artists who are going at this sans major label assistance, become one generic sound unto itself] and there is auto tuned music [thanks, T.I.].
that is it.
and it's a shame.
this isn't to say that there aren't a few gems that pop up every now and again [mozella, band of skulls...mmm, ok that's about it] but honestly, every single thing i listen to sounds like it could be off the same album. that's what we need. one huge giant album with every song made in the past 6 months on it. then i could listen to the first few songs, know what the rest are going to sound like, and only have one disc to place in my 'discard' pile. instead, i have about 100. i also have to empty my e-mailbox at least once a week to make room for the next mass of mp3s i will ultimately receive from artists and pub companies who really believe they have "the next big thing." ugh. you don't.

i should've thought this through

i didn't wake up in time to do my pilates this morning [rather, i woke up but didn't get out of bed in time...] so i decided i'd do it at work. i locked myself in my boss's office and started crunching.

13 minutes later i was finished, feeling a bit better about myself until i noticed the sweat. i had not anticipated this. i don't know why, since i always sweat. but for some reason, this vital outcome of my routine had failed to cross my mind prior to my lying down on the floor.
now,
i don't want to put my pants back on.
i don't want to put my tshirt back on over my tank top.
i wish i had a hair brush.
i wish i had deodorant.
i wish i had a shower.
i wish i hadn't left the space heater on under my desk.
i smell.
and it's only noon.

ugh.

make your own kind of music

i love this woman