my first vegan endeavor

I found out yesterday that a friend/ex-boss of mine just suffered a break-up. For some reason, my first thought was to bake him a vegan cake. Perhaps this is because the last time we went to lunch he requested a slice of vegan cake. I didn't oblige. So I figured this was as good a time as any, and I would even one-up his past request. I would make it mySELF. hah. I got Matt on board and away we went.

Lucky for me, Kristina had just sent me two new foodie blogs earlier in the morning, and I jumped on them right away to see if they had any delectable goodies. I searched the dairy free section of this DELICIOUS LOOKING BLOG and found these cupcakes. You should certainly check out this blog, but I will also re-post the recipe below, only claiming ownership of the substitution of carob chips for chocolate chips :) [I believe the original poster of this recipe adapted it from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World]

Oh, and I also used a different frosting. I didn't have any rum, and I wanted to use a Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese base, so I put together my own little frosting recipe.

So!
Here's what you need and do!

Pumpkin Chip Cupcakes with Tofutti Cinnamon Frosting

For the cupcake [makes 12, by the way!]:
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/3 cup oil
1 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup soymilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon each ground cloves, nutmeg, and ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup vegan carob chips

For the frosting [link above has the intended frosting, but mine was delicious!]
1 8 oz. package of Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese
2 T Earth Balance Buttery Spread
1-1 1/2 c powdered sugar [this is an estimate - I slowly added until the texture/taste was to my liking]
1 t vanilla extract
2 t cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350.
Put your cupcake cups in your cupcake pan!

-In a medium bowl, stir together the pumpkin, oil, sugar, soymilk, and vailla.
-Sift in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices [sidenote: I do not own a sifter. So this is what I did, and I think it worked quite well: I measured out and combined all of the dry ingredients in a small bowl. I then grabbed two spoons and, using them like salad tossers, i gently picked up the mixture and dropped it back in the bowl again. I did this for a few minutes and then I used a vegetable steamer to sift the mixture in with the wet mix. This way you get all the clumps out!]
-Gently mix by hand until just combined. Don’t use an electric mixer or over mix the batter as it may become too gummy. Once combined, fold in the chips.
-Fill your cupcake liners each with 1/4 cup of mix. I came out with EXACTLY 12 cupcakes when I did this - so you should, too!
-Bake for 22-25 minutes, or until a toothpick [or fork, if you're unprepared like me :)] comes out clean
-Remove from pan, let cool, and frost!

While your cupcakes are baking is an excellent time to put together the frosting.
Beat together the Tofutti, Earth Balance, and vanilla. Slowly add in your powdered sugar and your cinnamon - keep tasting until you're happy :)
[During my first frosting attempt, I added 1/4 cup of soymilk, per another recipe I had found. DO NOT do this!! My frosting came out more like a glaze and was just too thin to stay put on top of the cupcake. I had to run back out and buy a second container of Tofutti. ugh! It seems that the combination "cream cheese"/"butter" works best.]

See the blog linked above for an amazing photo of what these cupcakes should look like.
See the photo below for what they will realistically look like.
See the 2nd photo below for my reaction after eating one for breakfast this morning.

Oh, and our recipient loved them.
Jessica = 1 Vegan Baking = 0

american beauty

i'm a regular Ricky Fitts.

i was there, i swear

so by now you've probably heard about david bergman's crazy zoom-in-5million-times inauguration photo. and 'by now' i mean 6 months ago. but i was just reading through old blogs and came across my tales from inauguration and was reminded of this photo.
and of how i'm NOT IN IT.
ok. i kind of am.
but see, this is what happened.

at the exact moment that david bergman snapped one of his 220 photos [the one in my direction], i was looking away, and matt blocked me.
see for yourself.



see right smack dab in the middle of the photo, in the upper left-hand corner of the bush, there is a man with a blue winter hat on [that i made]. that is matt. the white dot above his head? that is the pom pom on the top of my hat. i could smack myself for this. why wasn't i engaged at this moment? what was SO important that i just had to turn around at the exact moment that my blurred face should have been immortalized in this amazing documentation?? ugh.

anyway. i really was there. the pom pom proves it.

click here for the complete story of this camera nerd's most famous photo.

good boyfriend

so i'm sitting at work, not doing a whole lot, when my office phone rings. it is the security guard from the front gate. "i've got matt adams -huh?- oh, appleton? here. next time you should call ahead and let me know when someone is coming." "oh! great! ok! sorry! i'll come get him!"
thing is, matt didn't tell me he was coming to visit.
surprises are good. surprises visits at work are even better.
good boyfriend :)

greenjerks

more than once i have been walking down sunset, either to amoeba or borders, and have been stopped by the Greenpeace canvassers. i've canvassed before [servenext] and know how difficult it can be, so i do try and stop for others when i can. i've stopped at the greenpeace fellows before, only to be asked for a monthly donation, which i just cannot afford. i've offered them a one-time donation, and they refused. so you can't say i didn't try.

anyway. i try to steer clear of them now, because i know what they will ultimately ask of me at the end of their spiel, and i don't want to waste their time or mine.

so the other day i was walking out of amoeba when a greengirl tried to stop me. i kept walking and said i'd already spoken with someone the other day [she doesn't need to know it was at least six months ago]. she asked if i had signed up and, still walking, i informed her that no, i couldn't afford it. she said 'afford what?' and i said 'the money thing. i can't commit.' she looked at me like i was crazy and asked if i was sure i had spoken to greenpeace. she got me doubting myself and i told her that i could've sworn it was them, but perhaps i was wrong. she said, 'do you know what greenpeace is?' 'yes,' i answered. 'we don't ask for money!' so i told her i was in a rush and if she was super fast i would listen to her. she told me all about the whales and the rainforests, and then as she was turning to the last page in her info-binder she said 'and you're gonna hate me because i know i said i wasn't going to ask you for money, but, i am!'
"i KNEW i had talked to you guys before!" i was livid. EXCUSE ME?? i already told you i could NOT afford a monthly payment. you told me you were not going to ask me for money. so i stood there with you for a good 4 minutes. and then you tricked me. and you think that is going to change my mind? you think lying to me is going to further your cause? wtf. i told her i didn't have health insurance, i'm driving a death-trap of a car, and as much as i support her cause and would love to help out, i just CAN'T. she tried to buddy buddy me and tell me that she didn't have health insurance either, but that she budgets in $25 a month for GP and yada yada, but she didn't move me. she finally softened and said she understood [or maybe i just wanted her to say that.] and she left me running down the sidewalk to get to where i needed to be so urgently [home].

i kinda did but not really?

i don't know how or why [well, i suppose because i DID go abroad with skidmore, albeit after i graduated...] but i am still on the study-abroad homepage. twice.
i love it :)

http://cms.skidmore.edu/ocse/index.cfm

edit:
AND my photo entry from that skidmore homepage photo contest thing is still on their website.
i really don't know why i didn't win...
http://cms.skidmore.edu/photo_contest/contact.cfm

[and in case you're lazy..]

i call it..Skidmore Squirrel with French Fry

october!

happy october!!
i am thrilled [i don't know why?] that it is october. perhaps because it is that much closer to my favorite holidays [thanksgiving and christmas]. perhaps because that means i get to see snow soon. perhaps because i get to see my red hook friends soon. the phrase "perhaps because" is starting to sound wrong. is it?
anyway.
it is october 1st. and even here in la, there is the tiniest "bite" in the weather. that is amazing. i don't remember when it started feeling like fall last year. certainly not this early. i saw some red leaves on the ground yesterday and i smiled real big. the weather has been appropriate enough for sweaters in the evening and for windows [not a/c] at night. i wore shorts to work yesterday and had to put the heat on. i didn't sweat through my clothes during lunch outside. and when i wake up in the morning i feel like i'm waking up in saratoga.
this is amazing!!!


sigh. i want to go to there.

what would your mother think??

on sunday i was driving back from venice with chris and kasha. i was on lincoln, about to merge onto the 10 east. i was in the lane all the way to the right, with a bit of space on my right for cars to park during non-peak hours. i looked to my right and noticed a white audi trying to squeeze its way next to and in front of me via this not-really-a-lane-but-for-the-time-being-i'm-going-to-use-it-as-such lane.
well hellllllll no. if there is one thing i have become since moving to la, it is Queen Bitch on the road. driving in la sucks, and we are all going to suffer. there is no cheating allowed [except sometimes. when i really need to.].
so, i did what any confident, law-abiding citizen driving a beat up '92 saab would do. i did not let him in. i stayed on the bumper of the car in front of me while mr. audio laid on his horn. because i was obviously at fault.
i stared straight ahead while he zipped around back of me and pulled up to my driver's side window. i had turned to my right to say something to kasha when i noticed that he had stopped his car when it was even with mine, despite all of the room in front of him.
"ALSKDJFAKLSDJFLKASJDKFLJASKFDJA YOU BITCH." [yelled with more fervor and passion than you might imagine]
and he sped away.
i was pretty flabbergasted, a little hurt, and then got really worried that he and his friends might shoot me.
he didn't.
and i still won't let him in next time.

little reminders of love

i never get any good blogs when i click on 'next blog.'
but today i did.

this girl is adorable and her posts make me smile my face off.

my boyfriend is [an] amazing [chef]

whenever matt cooks, i usually doubt him.
["why are you putting the raw eggs in with the potatoes??" "that hummus smells like peanut butter."]
somehow, though, his meals always come out absolutely delicious, and i've learned to stop doubting him. though it is this doubt that makes the outcome that much more amazing. so last night, i pretended to doubt him, and i was equally as surprised and amazed at his creation.
i told him i didn't want meat for dinner. and he said, ok, let's do something crazy. how about tofu tacos?
i'll admit, i wasn't 100% into the idea at first, but as soon as we got to the store and started shopping, i got a wee bit more excited.

[at this juncture, i would like to point out how fucking insulting whole foods prices are. at jons, we bought avocados, 4/$1.00. sure, they were a bit on the hard side..the really hard side..but they were 25 cents! for an avocado! woo hoo! we stopped at whole foods for the jamaican jerk sauce, and walked by the avos to see if there were any riper ones. i figured they'd be about $1.00 each. uh. they were $2.99. each. $2.99 for one avocado. are you KIDDING me. we stood there in shock, voiced our opinion ["fuck them!!"], didn't pay any mind to the woman standing right in front of the avocados, and stormed off. we talked about it for the rest of the night. and i'm sure you would have, too. 3 DOLLARS FOR A FUCKING AVOCADO ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? shut UP, WHOLE FOODS.]

ahem. anyhow. we finished our shopping, came home, cracked open some pumpkin beers, and go to work. since this was matt's deal, i just made the mango salsa and let him do the rest. i felt like i was working at the spa, when i would make cutting up the fruit for the fruit salad last me my entire 3-hour shift. i let the mango salsa easily take me an hour. in case you are wondering [mango, peeled cucumber, red onion, jalapeno [all diced], chopped cilantro, lime juice, black pepper]

while i made marathon mango salsa, matt marinated, deep-fried, and baked the tofu, fried the plantains, made an avocado/tofu/garlic/lime sauce, and made his own taco shells. i also added water to a dry horchata mix. oh, and heated up the black beans. go ME.

we sat down, dug in, and i fell in love with matt all over again [just like he said i would]. this food was amazing. i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since last night. it's 11am, but i want my left-overs lunch NOW.

anyhow. point is, my boyfriend is an amazing chef. and i think i'll keep on doubting him, because the surprise is just too good.

keep those windows down

i was driving home from work yesterday, singing in my car. i do this every time i'm in my car. sometimes i get self-conscious and tone down the volume of my voice when i'm at a stoplight, or stopped in traffic on the freeway. sometimes i'll roll up the windows if i'm at a particularly impassioned point in the song. i was feeling that way yesterday, as i was stop-and-go-ing up the 101, until i noticed the woman in front of me. she was in a sebring convertible, not only singing, but rocking her head back and forth and doing stuff with her hands. she was basically dancing. in her seat. for everyone to see. i noticed the guy in the white van in the lane next to me look over at her and smile to himself. it was at this point that i decided to keep the windows down [i was sweating, after all] and continue singing so that everyone could hear me. if they don't want to hear me, THEY can roll up their windows.

i then thought about driving in la and how much i hate it, but that while 9 times out of 10 i despise the drivers next to, in front of, and behind me for no other reason except that they are congesting my roadway, every once in awhile i find a diamond in the rough [and it is rough].

the proximity in which we drive here in this city is remarkable. there are often times for comments through the window, sometimes entire conversations, before you both "speed" away. and this, i like.

just a few weeks ago i was at a stoplight, singing, when i noticed the guy in the truck next to me try to say something. i turned my music down, rolled my window down the rest of the day and yelled, "what?" he said he noticed the "i love new york" sticker on the back of my car and wanted to tell me about the "best" pizza he'd ever had in new york and asked if i'd ever been there ["it's on ? and ? ave"]. "no, i haven't! but it sounds delicious!" i shouted back, before the light turned green and we were on our way.

another time, i was on my bike, stopped at a stoplight. i sneezed. the guy in the car next to me said 'God bless you' and we exchanged "have a good day"s as the light turned green.

yet another time, chris and i were driving to pick up chinese food when the car next to us asked us for directions. we caught up with them at every subsequent traffic light down the road and chatted the entire way down laurel canyon. we almost asked if they wanted to come hang out with us.

on my way home from work one day last year, i was singing "good day sunshine" at the top of my lungs. coming off the freeway ramp, i noticed the guy in the pick up truck next to me look over at me and smile to himself. i kept singing.

anyway, you get it.
sometimes driving in la can be fun and exciting. you never know who you'll meet, or who is listening to you sing.
so keep singing.
it might be somebody's favorite song.

lose big

the biggest loser premiered last night.
i'm watching it on itunes now.
i love this show. i remember when it first started, 8 seasons ago, i was sitting in my parents' bedroom and saw a commercial for it. "they have a show about losing weight?? what??" i was blown away and horrified. reality tv was really starting to kick in.
when i got home from london a year and a half ago, i had no job, i had no school, i had nothing to do. so i watched a season with my parents, got horribly addicted, and am now a huge fan. some people think it's a little over the top, a show with immensely obese people exercising and getting kicked off, one by one, a la survivor [and i understand that this is a qualm of some - if this show is really trying to help people, why are they getting kicked off at all?]..but more often than not, even when these people get 'kicked off' the show, they have been so inspired and given so much hope even from just a few weeks at this facility, that they finish the job at home. it may take them longer, yes, and it may require a whole lot more perseverance and focus and self-control, yes, but they do it. and the prospect of getting kicked off gives those still left at the ranch that much more to work for. they don't want to go home. they don't want to have to do it on their own. so they work even harder. i struggled with the elimination concept at first, but know that there must be a reason for it.
anyway. i'm rambling.
point is, these people are amazing. and watching their journeys is inspiring.
and that is just what i'm going to do.

and then i'm going to go to the gym.

kiwi of my eye

i am eating a kiwi for the first time in a long time.
that's a lie. i ate one yesterday and the day before.
but since this week, i cannot remember the last time i had a kiwi.
my mom used to get them for me and i remember sitting at the kitchen table scooping out the middle white part first and then eating the green goo, enjoying the crunch of the seeds.
times have not changed.

folgers in your cup

the best part of getting in a fight is making up.

i am hormonal

as fuck.

ghost.

just watched it.

shut up.

sometimes i keep talking when i know i should stop.
or say things i know i shouldn't say.
but i know that if i keep them inside of me they'll bottle up and i won't be able to function.
so i say them.
and then wish i hadn't.
and then say other things to try to make the first thing i said seem like less of a big deal.
what?
ugh.
shut UP, jessica.

rock. me. beatles.

we got beatles rock band.
9.9.9 was the most fantastic of days. mainly because of this.
we fulfilled our respective evening duties and all reconvened around 11pm for what was sure to be the best evening of our young adult lives.
it was.
after raiding dt's apt and bringing his ps3 downstairs, we hooked it up, took a deep breath, and slowly pushed the disc into the console.
what happened next can only be described as magical.
as the opening images and music popped up, no one could take their eyes away from the screen. chris and i sat wide-eyed directly in front of the 50-inch plasma television, huge smiles on our faces.
this was it.
we played for hours, our guests arriving in ones and twos, taking their turn at guitar or bass or drums or the coveted vocals. who cares who had the mic in their hand, the whole room was singing.
what joy!
we made it through about half of the game, taking time to enjoy in silence the rare photos and videos we had unlocked through our expertise.
we finished the second half last night. 45 songs in all. now we've just gotta perfect our instruments.
before everyone else was home last night, i played guitar and sang at the same time, the microphone stuck in between my knees. uncomfortable, yes, but a completely wonderful experience. i need a mic stand.
last night was a 6 hour marathon, with time for dinner and a 5-minute break when we needed a second to recover from I Want You (She's So Heavy).
now i'm at work. jonesin hard for some rock band. i can't wait to go home.
in the meantime, Abbey Road remastered will have to hold me over.

labor pains

there were no pains to be found this labor day weekend.
i had a wonderfully relaxing 4-day weekend, after working my butt off all week.
it was well-deserved, i believe.

friday was spent at the beach with matt, where i began the slow recovery of my ocean complex.
i have always loved the ocean. i'd be the first one to run in and jump in the waves. until last year. on two separate occasions, at el matador beach in malibu, i got SLAMMED by big huge waves. waves that take you down under, flip you around, and drag you across the sand. each time i eventually came up, scared stiff and ran to my towel. i was done for the day. but the first time it happened i decided to try again. the second time? no dice. i haven't been swimming in the pacific ocean in almost a year. i'll sit on the beach and as i see the waves come up, my stomach gets all in knots and i get incredibly anxious. it's been a bummer. so on friday, i decided to try again. the waves were small, and i stayed in for a couple of minutes before i started getting anxious and uncomfortable. but now i know that i can do it. even if only for a few minutes. and i'll be back. i won't give up!

on saturday matt and i spent the day getting ready for our camping trip the next day. tim came with us to r.e.i, where i finally bought myself a hat for the sun. then we went to arby's. i felt like i was 12. it was wonderfully bad idea. we rushed home and rushed out to the orpheum to see the avett brothers. matt had never seen them and i was real excited to introduce him to this favorite music of mine that he has never experienced. we took the metro downtown and walked through 4 blocks of ghetto before we reached the comfort of the orpheum's lights. the theater is absolutely beautiful, and the show was incredible. 2nd row, center, thank you very much. matt said it was 1000% times better than he had thought it was going to be. you can't go to one of their shows and not enjoy. i thoroughly suggest, no, ORDER you to go if they ever come in the near vicinity. unbelievable.



we got to bed a little after 2am on saturday night and got out of bed less than 4 hours later to drive up to the mountains. after driving for about 15 minutes we realized we forgot the chicken wire to put around the car [to keep out the marmots] so we had to turn around and go back. ugh were we tired. it was a brutal 4 1/2 hours in the car, trying to stay awake. but we got there. we got our wilderness permit to go up to eagle lake [one of our favorites.]. we found a parking spot. and we cruised up the mountain. last time i had a fairly horrible experience [not in shape, hiking too far, high altitude, 30 lbs on my back..] and this time the difference was incredible. i'd been going to the gym regularly for the past month, and i couldn't believe how much my fitness had improved. we cruised up that mountain in 2 1/2 hours. and not once did i cry, throw up, or even pout. it was great. we met some nice women on the way up, and a kid named adam who finished up the trail with us. matt and i found a nice place to pitch our tent right above the water, and after dumping our bags to claim our space, we jumped into the lake. water was real chilly, but incredibly refreshing, and such a wonderful, natural way to bathe. soon after, we made dinner [jamaican chicken and rice and peas. MMM.], did a crossword, and got to bed real early [just a little after 8!].



i slept horribly. i kept waking up. i think because a. my pillow hadn't fluffed up enough before i tried sleeping on it and b. it was SO quiet. b may not make as much sense..but it was deafeningly silent, and every time i woke up it was hard to fall back asleep. we spent 12 hours in that tent, waking up a little after 8am. we took our time waking up, getting ready, snacking, changing, and then headed up a nearby ridgeline to check out the view. it was beautiful. and sunny. we both got burned [though it's pretty inevitable when you're at 10,000 ft.].

after the ridge we climbed back down, brought some gear out to the lake, and waded across to a rock, where we had a delicious lunch of pasta primavera [i love mountain house dehydrated food], swam a bit more [matt swam, i jumped in and out], and napped on the rock.



after our nap we had to start packing up our gear and head down the mountain. it's so hard to leave this place. we left our campsite at 5:15 but didn't leave the lake until 5:45 because we were too busy lollygagging and taking pictures, trying to prolong our stay. but we had to get down so we could make it to the restaurant at the bottom of the trail.



we BOOKED it down the mountain [hour and a half] and now my legs are paying for it. but we made it to silver city, the little cabin town with a small restaurant/general store. this has become our post-hike tradition. it's so delicious. and so cozy. i never want to leave.
we finished our meal, got some pie and hot chocolate, went outside to look at the stars, and headed down the mountain. i hate leaving. it is the most beautiful place in the world.

what a wonderful, wonderful weekend.

[sorry this was so long.]

zzzzzz

i am so tired.
i would like to go to sleep. now.
but i am still at work.
and after work i have to go to ikea. for work.
[perhaps i will put it off for one more day..]
and then i have to go to the gym.
and make dinner.
and shower.
and socialize with my friends.
and then it's going to be late.
and i'm going to be tired again tomorrow.
at work.